Second Chance
by remuslives23
Summary: After the war, Remus is left alone to raise his son as a single father. He thought he'd lost his one chance at happiness. Will he get another? Please read and review. I crave feedback.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi! This is my new fic - hope you enjoy! Give me some feedback as I'm still working on the later chappies.**_

**_Cheers!_**

**_WARNING: No sex yet. Ohhhhh! Shocking, I know. But if you've read my stuff before, you know what a terrible tease I am :-) And I promise, when it happens, it will be sooo worth the (short) wait._**

**_On with the story..._**

* * *

Chapter One

'_Remus? Remus, can you hear me?'_

_He heard the faint, familiar voice calling him but he didn't want to wake up. His sleep had been dreamless and pain free and, even in his semi-conscious state, he knew waking up was going to hurt. _

_A lot._

* * *

Harry Potter stood next to the hospital bed, watching nervously as the healer waved a wand over Remus Lupin.

'Shouldn't he be awake?' he asked her and she nodded.

'Yes,' she confirmed, her own nerves on edge. The treatment should have worked by now but…

'Sometimes even if the body is healed, the mind isn't ready to wake up,' she said, looking around at the people in the room. 'He's had an enormous shock - both physically and mentally. Remus had extensive internal injuries. He watched his wife die. Give him some more time to recover if he needs it.'

'Tonks' funeral is tomorrow,' a red haired woman said, stepping forward. 'He'd want to be there…'

'We _all_ want him to be there, Molly,' she said tersely, her own grief rising for a second before she managed to regain some composure. 'I'm doing what I can. The rest is up to him. Maybe if he had a bit of space…'

As soon as the sniping remark was out of her mouth, she regretted it. 'I'm sorry, Molly,' she said softly, rubbing her forehead as she shoved her wand back into her pocket. 'I don't mean to be a bitch, I'm just…'

She shook her head then flinched when she felt a hand on her arm. 'You're right,' a male voice said gently. 'There are too many people here. Let's go, mum, Harry. We can come back later. Maddy, you'll contact us if there's any change?'

The blonde woman smiled gratefully at Bill Weasley and nodded. He gave her arm a squeeze then guided his mother and Harry out of the room, leaving her to sink down into the chair next to the bed. She closed her eyes for a moment then looked over at the still man on the bed.

'Alright, Lupin,' she said firmly, taking his hand in hers. 'You listen to me. There is no damn reason for you to still be asleep. You're going to ruin my reputation, you know. I've got a one hundred percent heal rate and I'm not going to let you stuff that up.'

She watched the man for a minute then sighed and lay her head on the bed next to him, still holding his hand in hers.

'I know you're hurting, Remus,' she said softly. 'But you're needed here. Teddy is saying goodbye to his mother tomorrow and he needs his daddy there. You're all he has left.'

She sighed and squeezed his hand. 'You're all I've got left as well.'

His hand twitched in hers and she lifted her head, staring carefully at his face. 'Remus?'

He groaned and relief flooded through her.

'Thank God,' she muttered, standing up and reaching for her wand. 'I couldn't stand losing you too.'

She and Nymphadora Tonks had been close for several years. They'd met after the clumsy young woman had come into St Mungo's Hospital injured during her first six months of Auror training. Maddyson Horton had been the Healer on duty and, despite the six year difference in their ages, the two women had formed an immediate friendship which had grown over the years.

When Tonks had told her a year ago that she was marrying Remus Lupin, Maddy had been concerned. Tonks was so young - in her early twenties, and Remus was older by at least fifteen years, closer to Maddy's age than Tonks'. Everything was so tumultuous as the final battle approached and evil was growing in their world; and Remus himself was a concern- he was broke and a werewolf to boot.

But Tonks had been head over heels and, after Maddy had met and gotten to know Remus, she could understand why. He was a wonderful person and a steadying influence on the sometimes flaky young woman. She, in turn, brightened up what had been a fairly miserable life for the man and, when Teddy had arrived very quickly, Maddy had hoped for the best for the couple.

But it wasn't to be. Both Tonks and Remus had fought in the final battle against the Dark Lord that had cost so many people their lives. Maddy had arrived at Hogwarts castle, her old school, to help with the wounded as the battle wound down and had been devastated when she saw both Tonks and Remus amongst the dead. She'd checked their vital signs carefully - not wanting to believe they were both gone - and had been stunned to find a very weak, almost indiscernible pulse in Remus neck. She'd concentrated all her efforts on healing her friend and, by the time he reached St Mungo's, he was stable. Three days later, though, those who loved him were growing concerned that he wasn't waking up. Until now.

His blue eyes flicked open now and met her own. 'Maddy,' he mumbled, his parched throat hurting.

She quickly grabbed a cup of water then held him upright as he sipped, the cool liquid soothing his sore throat.

'Not too much,' she warned when he made a noise of complaint as she took it away.

'Tonks?' he ground out, not holding out much hope and the little he had was dashed when he saw Maddy's face.

'I'm so sorry, Remus,' she whispered, eyes filling with tears that she quickly blinked away. 'It was fast. She didn't feel a thing.'

He nodded, swallowing hard against his sorrow. He had seen her body being taken to the castle - the shock had been part of the reason he'd been hit by Dolohov's curse himself. His wife wasn't even supposed to be there. He'd left her with their son, hoping that if the worst should happen, little Teddy wouldn't lose both his parents.

Shifting slightly, he couldn't muffle his groan of pain and Maddy slipped back into her Healer mode. Her hands touched his bare chest, then palpated their way down to his abdomen.

'Where's the pain?' she asked briskly as her hands touched his lower stomach.

Remus hissed as another spasm ripped through him at her touch and Maddy grimaced in sympathy.

'Sorry,' she muttered, then waved her wand over him, mumbling incantations.

After a few minutes, the pain disappeared and he breathed a loud sigh. Whatever she'd done had taken away the bulk of his aches and pains as well as making him feel more alert. Now he wasn't aching so badly, he recalled the events of the last couple of weeks and he looked up at Maddy.

'Thanks,' he said and she smiled grimly.

'You were pretty messed up, Remus,' she told him, sitting on the edge of the bed. 'I've done all I can but it may take several weeks to fully recover and then months to get full mobility back…'

'Are you ok?' he asked, taking her hand.

She looked awful - like she hadn't slept in weeks, which she probably hadn't. Her hand felt small, fragile in his and, for the first time since he'd known her, this tough, intelligent woman looked breakable.

She appeared startled by his question but nodded. 'I'm fine,' she said, standing up and putting her wand away, his hand slipping from hers.

'Maddy…' he began but she shook her head.

'Andromeda's been bringing Teddy in,' she interrupted, knowing what he was going to say but not having the strength to get into it with him. Not yet. 'And Molly, Bill and Harry have been here almost constantly. They've been dead annoying - about time you woke up to deal with them.'

His lips curved up for a moment then he said softly, 'When's the funeral?'

Maddy bit her lip then said, 'Tomorrow. I can get you strong enough to be out of here by then as long as you get complete rest at home until I say so afterwards.'

Remus frowned but nodded. 'Thanks,' he said.

Maddy smiled at him then turned to leave. 'I'll send an owl to let the others know you're awake,' she said over her shoulder. 'You should get a little more rest. I'll call by your house later and get you some clothes. I'll discharge you tomorrow morning in plenty of time.'

Before he could say another word, she left the room, leaving him to his thoughts.

* * *

Maddy walked quickly into the break room and sat down, head in her hands. She'd been so busy over the past few weeks that she'd had no time to think about everything that had happened, but now the war was over and Remus was out of the woods…

She let out a shuddering breath and rubbed at her sore ribs. After nearly three weeks, her body still ached from the recent attack on her, even though her mind remained resolutely numb. She didn't want to remember - it was bad enough she kept seeing it over and over in her dreams.

'Patients,' she told herself, thankful for the distraction they provided.

Pushing aside the memories; the images from that night that were always there on the periphery of her mind, she stood up and walked back out into the corridor to check on her other patients. She'd taken on several of the injured from the final battle and most were improving rapidly, some able to be discharged that afternoon.

'You're pushing yourself too hard,' Jillian, a fellow Healer, said much later as Maddy was writing a note into a file. 'You should go home. It's already two hours after your finishing time.'

Maddy looked up at her and pushed a lock of dark blonde hair out of her eyes. 'I'm finishing up now,' she said and Jillian crossed her arms.

'And then what?' she asked knowingly. 'You go and get a God awful sandwich from the canteen then sit next to Remus' bed until you fall asleep? Like you have every other night for a past three days.'

Maddy's jaw clenched and she stood up. 'Get off my back, Jill,' she muttered, preparing to go. 'What have I got to go home to?'

'Maddy,' her friend said gently, putting her hand on her arm. 'You're going to have to talk about what happened to you soon. You aren't going to be able to avoid it much longer. Remus is awake and your other patients are doing fine. There will be no distractions anymore.'

Maddy knew she was right, and the thought of talking to anyone about what had happened that night terrified her almost as much as the actual attack had.

'Goodnight, Jill,' she murmured, forgoing the sandwich she usually threw out anyway and going straight to Remus' room.

* * *

He was asleep and she curled up on the chair that had become her bed over the past few days, staring at Remus, watching his chest rise and fall reassuringly. He'd become a good friend over the past year and she was relieved that he'd pulled through.

'I can't take any more loss right now,' she thought, closing her eyes as she leant her head against the back of the chair.

Remus had given her something to concentrate on; to focus her thoughts on, but now he was awake and his prognosis was good, she didn't know how she was going to keep her mind off everything she wasn't ready to face.

It was several minutes before she fell asleep, not seeing Remus open his eyes and watch her as she drifted off. He frowned when he realised this probably wasn't the first time she'd done this.

'She should be dealing with her own problems, not worrying about mine,' he thought.

When he first met Maddy, he could see her disapproval of his relationship with Tonks but she'd made an effort for her friends' sake. Despite her obvious reservations, she'd been very sweet - inviting he and Tonks to her place for dinner. He liked her immediately and, after that first evening, she'd warmed up to him as well.

They seemed to click and they spent some time discussing his lycanthropy, a topic Tonks still felt uncomfortable talking about, and it was nice to be able to speak freely about his condition with someone who saw it as purely a clinical issue rather than a curse. They'd also discussed the Order who were fighting against the Dark Lord and Maddy had offered to provide any healing services they needed, a job they had unfortunately found invaluable as the battle progressed.

'She's probably my closest friend now,' he realised. 'Everyone else is gone.'

Sighing, he shifted, trying not to wake her by groaning aloud. He wasn't in pain: she'd given him a potion before he fell asleep, but he was stiff and a little achy. He was grateful that Maddy had been the one looking after him. She was a wonderful Healer, one of the best, and he shuddered to think of what might have happened to him if it hadn't have been her that came out to the castle to help. Molly and Bill had come to see him this afternoon and told him that they'd all thought he was gone. It was only Maddy's refusal to just accept it that had saved him. Another few minutes without help and he really would have been dead. Just like his wife.

His chest hurt as he remembered that he would be attending her funeral in a few hours. Despite the fact he'd felt rushed into marriage, and that his initial reaction to his wife's pregnancy had been horror, he'd grown to love Tonks and he didn't want to think about how he was going to raise their son without her. He looked over at Maddy again.

'She must be hurting,' he thought, his forehead creasing again. 'With everything that happened to her and losing Tonks' on top of it, how is she still functioning? I know I'm not going to be as together as she is.'

He sighed again, pulling the sheet up higher as his eyes began to close.

'I'll deal with this tomorrow,' he mumbled to himself.

* * *

'It was a lovely service,' Molly said to Remus, who was sitting holding his infant son on Andromeda's couch.

'Yes, it was,' he smiled, tilting his head to avoid Teddy's flailing fists. 'Andromeda did a wonderful job organising it.'

His mother in law had never approved of him marrying her daughter, but he had to admit, she'd been very supportive now, agreeing to look after Teddy for as long as he needed to recover.

Molly moved on and Harry and his friends came to say hello, leaving again quickly.

'It's like I'm contagious or something,' he thought, holding his son closer.

'Hi,' Maddy's voice came from behind him.

He looked up as she walked around the couch and sat next to him.

'This is boring,' she said in a low voice as she reached out to touch Teddy's hand. 'Tonks would have hated it.'

Remus let out a soft laugh and agreed. 'How soon can we go?' he asked, looking at her. 'Everyone's tiptoeing around me and I can't stand it much longer.'

She'd apparated him here - he was too weak to do it himself - and was taking him home.

'A bit longer to be polite, I suppose,' she sighed, eyes still on Teddy. 'It's hard for them to know what to say, Remus. It's easier to just mumble some platitude than risk being the one to upset you.'

'Being treated like I'm going to break is upsetting me,' he mumbled and she looked up at him.

'I know,' she said softly. 'But just be patient with them. You'll need them one day soon when you let yourself start to grieve.'

He frowned at her. 'I'm grieving,' he said but she shook her head.

'No, you're not,' she told him. 'But you will soon.' She smiled at Teddy, her unofficial godson. 'Can I have a cuddle now? You've been hogging him for ages.'

He nodded, handing the baby over. She grinned at his son as she held him, making Remus' heart hurt. He'd loved watching Tonks with Teddy. She'd been so nervous with the baby at first, they both had, but once she'd gained confidence, she hardly put him down - Andromeda saying that she was spoiling him.

Watching Maddy with his son, it suddenly hit him - hard and fast. Teddy would never be held by his mother again; he'd never have the chance to get to know her. He finally realised that after today, everyone would leave him and get on with their own lives - he was now alone again and would have to raise his son by himself. The woman he had grown to love; that was so full of life and light, was really not coming back.

He clenched his eyes shut tight as a wail of grief rose rapidly in his chest. Trying desperately to fight it down, his hands started to shake and suddenly he was finding it difficult to breathe.

_This_ was the grief. And this hurt. A lot.

'M..Maddy,' he managed to get out and she looked up, her smile disappearing as soon as she saw his face.

'I think you've had enough for today,' she said, understanding immediately and standing up. 'Come on.'

She helped him up and guided him towards the back door, grabbing Bill and handing him Teddy.

'Just tell Andromeda we had to go,' she told the startled man. 'Remus isn't feeling well.'

By the time they got outside to apparate, Remus was shaking so hard he could barely stand.

'Just hang on, Remus. Please,' she begged him, knowing she couldn't apparate them if he was a dead weight.

She held him tight around the waist and turned on the spot, taking them to his place and getting them inside before he broke down completely.

She held onto him as his legs gave way and he fell to the floor, sobs racking his thin body. Blinking rapidly to try and stay her own tears, she wrapped her arms around him, letting him cry out his pain and fear as he clutched her to him tight, almost crushing her in his need to hold onto something; someone. It was almost twenty minutes later that he lifted his head off her shoulder and wiped his eyes, looking a little bashful as he shifted, realising he was almost in her lap.

'God, Maddy,' he said, his voice cracking. 'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be,' she told him, rubbing his back. 'It's good that you let go of some of your grief.'

He looked at her with a frown, seeing the bloodshot eyes, but no damp cheeks or tear tracks. 'You gonna take your own advice any time soon?' he asked and she looked away from him, standing up abruptly.

'I'll make you a cup of tea,' she offered, holding out her hand to help him up. 'But I want you in bed straight after.'

'Jeez, you're a bit forward,' he teased as he took her hand and she looked at him in surprise, trying to hold back her smile.

'You must be feeling better if you're making god awful jokes. Do you want milk in your tea?' she asked, shaking her head as he got to his feet and she moved him to a chair.

He nodded and she smiled, turning to go into the kitchen but he held onto her hand.

'I _do_ feel a bit better now. You were right. I needed that. Thank you, Maddy,' he whispered and she smiled.

'That's what friends are for, right?' she said then squeezed his hand lightly before pulling it gently out of his grasp.

**Reviews? Please?**


	2. Chapter 2

**We learn a little more about what happened to Maddy in this chapter. Quite a bit of setting up for coming chappies but stick with it. Hope you're enjoying this fic. Cheers!**

* * *

Chapter Two

Three days later, Maddy was running her hands firmly over his stomach. 'Any pain?' she asked and he shook his head.

'Good,' she murmured, waving her wand at a floating quill and parchment and the quill began to write.

She took each of his hands in hers and looked at him. 'Squeeze,' she ordered. 'As tight as you can.'

He did and she nodded. 'Not bad,' she said, waving her wand at the parchment again then handed him a potion.

'Drink.' He did, wrinkling his nose a little at the bitter taste.

'Right, sheet down,' she said and he frowned.

'What?' she said with a little laugh. 'You're not naked under there, are you? If you are, I assure you, Remus, you've got nothing I haven't already seen. And I _do_ mean that. Who do you think it was that had to check every inch of your body for injuries?'

He made a growling noise as his face went pink and he kicked the sheet off, revealing his red, love heart covered boxers that Tonks had bought him for his last birthday just months ago.

'Nice boxers,' she teased, then sat on the edge of the bed, thoroughly testing his reflexes and strength. 'Be grateful she got you those instead of the ones I talked her out of. I thought you weren't really the flashing arrows kind of guy.'

He chuckled and his flush deepened. She stood up after a minute and pulled the sheet back over him.

'You're doing well,' she said, the quill making one last note. 'I'll keep an eye on your blood pressure, it's still a little high, but apart from that, you're about where I expected you to be. You've been in bed resting?'

Remus nodded, frustration obvious on his face. 'Molly's been very insistent,' he said, feeling guilty for taking the woman away from her family right now.

She had lost a son in the war and was trying to deal with her own grief. She shouldn't have to be looking after him as well.

Maddy snapped the parchment and quill out of the air and rolled it up, putting it in her bag. 'How do you feel about a short walk? Just around the porch then back to bed. Get those muscles working again.'

He nodded eagerly, sick of being confined to bed rest, and swung his feet over the edge of the bed.

'Wait,' she demanded, frowning at him. 'Just take it easy, Remus. Give me your hand.' He did and she pulled him to his feet.

'Lean on me if you need to,' she said softly as he took a step.

He made a negative noise in his throat but was soon shocked at how weak he was.

'Jesus,' he muttered when they reached the bedroom door.

He was sweating and trembling and felt as if he'd run a mile. 'I can't…' he began, but Maddy shook her head at him.

'Just to the porch, then we'll rest,' she insisted, knowing that he had to try and push past his limits. He had a little more to give yet.

He frowned deeply but kept going, embarrassed by how heavily he was having to lean on Maddy. He was surprised she could take his weight; she was quite a bit shorter than him - the top of her head barely reaching his nose, and she was thin. His fingers just about wrapped all the way around her upper arm and could feel her bony shoulders under his forearm. Now that he was touching her, he became aware of the fact that she was thinner than he remembered.

It took almost two minutes to make the walk that usually took around seven seconds and Remus collapsed onto the bench there, breathing hard from exertion.

Maddy sank down next to him and smiled. 'Well done,' she said softly and he let out a disbelieving snort. 'Remus. Look at me.'

He did and she saw the frustration in his face. 'It's going to take a while to get back to how you were. You nearly died. It's not going to be an easy road back - you need to come to terms with that. But I will get you there. I promise.'

He smiled and she gave him a return one before looking out over the porch.

'I was leaning pretty hard on you. Did I hurt you?' he asked, lifting his hand and putting it on her shoulder.

She jumped as soon as he made contact, letting out a little gasp of fright. Remus was startled and quickly removed his hand as he watched her try and regain some composure.

'Sorry,' he said but she shook her head, trying to smile at him with shaking lips.

'It's fine,' she insisted, nervously pushing her hair behind her ears. 'I guess I'm just a bit jumpy. Not sleeping real well.'

Remus frowned again, putting his hand on hers carefully. 'Are you still staying with Marc's parents?' he asked and she nodded, standing up.

'Ready to go back?' she said but Remus shook his head.

'You can't change the subject every time his name is mentioned,' he told her gently. 'Everyone keeps telling me to talk about Tonks; to not pretend that she doesn't….didn't exist. You need to talk about Marc and what happened.'

He stopped as she vigorously shook her head, turning away from him. 'I can't,' she said in a low voice. Remus struggled to his feet, cursing his shaking legs.

'Maddy, you are the only person I can talk to,' he said, trying to see her face. 'You know how I feel. Andromeda's pain is a deeper one - she lost a child and a husband in this war. She doesn't have room for my hurt as well. But you understand. You lost a partner too. Maddy, I'm being so very selfish but…I need you to talk about Marc. Because I need to talk about Tonks but I don't want to dump this all on you without giving you support in return. Let me help you, Maddy.'

She bit her lip, screwing her face up in an effort not to cry; not to remember.

'I can't,' she repeated, turning back to him. She couldn't look at him, staring at his chest. 'Please don't ask me to talk about it. I'll…I don't want…'

She stopped and took a breath. 'I know that if I start to think about it, I'll fall down in a heap. And if I fall down, I'm afraid I'll never get up again.'

Remus moved closer and put his hand on her shoulder. 'Maddy, I'll be here,' he told her but she pulled away from him, her face under control again.

'You've had enough activity for the day,' she said, her voice at normal level again. 'Let's get you back to bed.'

She took his elbow and, with surprising strength, turned him around and helped him back to his bedroom.

* * *

'Molly, it's fine,' Remus insisted as the woman fussed around his room two days later. 'I'm stronger now. I can do it myself.'

Molly snorted in amusement and tucked his sheets in properly. 'I know exactly what you are supposed to be doing, Remus Lupin. You're not the only one talking to Maddyson,' she told him sternly.

'Do I hear my name being taken in vain?' Maddy said as she walked through the door, smiling in greeting.

'Maddy, tell Molly to go home to her children,' Remus said straight away, his expression pleading. 'Tell her I'm fine.'

Maddy stared at the man. She knew he felt guilty about how much of Molly's time his care was taking up and thought she might have come up with a solution.

'Well, I'm not going to lie to her,' she said, pulling out her parchment and quill and throwing them into the air where they floated, waiting for her instruction. 'You're not fine but I think we can work something else out.'

She pulled out her wand and looked at Remus. 'How about I move in here until you can get around easily yourself? I need to get out of where I am and you need help. I've taken some holiday time I'm owed so I could be your full time carer if you like.'

She looked at Molly, who looked a little relieved then back to Remus. 'It's just an idea. Think about it.'

'I don't need to,' he said, sitting up. 'It's a great idea. Molly can go back to the people who really need her.'

He took the red headed woman's hand, squeezing lightly. She smiled at him then at Maddy. 'Are you sure about this, Maddyson?' she asked and Maddy nodded.

She came around the bed and hugged the younger woman who looked reluctant but accepted the embrace.

Remus was happy that Maddy was going to be here - he liked her a lot and she was good company. It also gave him a chance to talk more to her about Marc.

As she examined him, he watched her closely. Dark marks circled her blue eyes, making them look sunken and hollow. She was pale and her dark blonde hair looked stringy, pulled back into a messy ponytail.

'She's a beautiful woman,' he thought. 'But you wouldn't know it to look at her now.'

The first time they'd met, they had eaten dinner at Maddy and her husband Marc's house and her face had almost mesmerised him for long minutes. He had shaken the dazed feeling off, but continued to watch her throughout the night. He hadn't even realised what he was doing until Tonks mentioned it later. He'd apologised, embarrassed, but she'd laughed.

'I'm used to men being stunned into a stupor when I'm with Maddy. I suspect she has some Veela blood,' she'd said. 'You'll eventually become immune to the fact she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Just don't take _too_ long.'

The other characteristic that struck him that night was her open, sunny nature. She was sweet, funny and naturally affectionate, and he soon realised Tonks was right. Maddy was a stunning woman, but her looks became secondary to her lovely nature. They had become close, finding they had a lot in common and he had no objections when Tonks insisted she was the only choice for a godmother for Teddy. Remus remembered her joy at being asked, grinning broadly as she threw her arms around both him and her friend.

'It's been a while since I saw her smile,' he realised.

She certainly wasn't smiling now as she tugged down the sheet covering him, talking to Molly quietly as she checked his reflexes. He watched, thinking about the look on her face when he and Tonks had visited her in the hospital after the attack nearly three weeks ago. Her big blue eyes, normally so full of life, had looked flat; dead. They still did.

Tonks had heard the news first - word had reached the Order after the Dark Mark was seen over Maddy and Marc's house. Maddy's offer to provide medical assistance for the Order, made against Marc's wishes, had made her and her ex Ministry worker husband a target. Worried sick, Tonks had gone with Kingsley to the house, bracing herself for the worst and very nearly finding it.

Marc, Maddy's husband of two years, was dead - the condition of his body left no doubt about that - and Maddy was unconscious. They had both been tortured by Death Eaters, Maddy later telling them that something had distracted the three men after they killed her husband and they disapparated, leaving her alive.

She'd never talked about her loss; they'd spent a lot of time together in the days afterwards and, as far as he knew, she'd never cried. Even at Marc's funeral, she stood as if she was carved from stone, her face impassive as everyone cried around her. Tonks had tried talking to her several times without luck then everything in their world had gone crazy. Now Tonks was gone, Remus was in the same position as Maddy, and it seemed natural that they should help each other through this.

'Except she won't let me,' he thought then concentrated on what the women were saying.

'I'm going now, Remus,' Molly said, giving him a quick hug. 'I'll call by in a day or so to see if you two are alright.'

She gave Maddy a hug, Remus frowning when he saw the younger woman hesitate again. Maddy was usually pretty free with her hugs but he was starting to notice a pattern. She was fine if she initiated physical contact but every time someone touched her unexpectedly, she flinched. She could be still in pain from her injuries, but Remus suspected there was something else behind it. Molly left and Maddy looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

'Ready for a walk?' she asked and he nodded.

* * *

He felt a little stronger today and, for the first time, managed to get out to the patio without breaking into a sweat.

'It's a nice day,' she said when they sat to take a rest. 'Want to try to walk to that tree and back?'

She pointed to a nearby tree and he nodded, standing up. They moved slowly and by the time they got to their destination, he was starting to lean on Maddy's shoulder.

'Sit,' she said, sensing he needed a break. 'I'll get us something to eat if you like. You must be getting sick of eating in bed.'

He nodded and she disappeared into the kitchen, coming back a few minutes later with sandwiches and two bottles of Muggle beer.

He looked surprised. 'I bought them,' she said with a little smile. 'I actually quite like them.'

They sat in silence for a while, eating, then Remus looked at her. 'When are you moving in?' he asked and she gave him a small smile.

'Today,' she told him. 'Are you sure it's ok?'

'Yes,' he said emphatically. 'It'll be good to have you around.'

She took another bite of her sandwich then pushed a stray strand of hair off her face. 'Marc's parents want to keep talking about him,' she said suddenly in a low voice as she looked down at the ground. 'They keep asking about what happened.'

Remus looked at her and saw her shaking lip. 'You should talk about it, Maddy,' he said softly.

'There's nothing to talk about,' she told him then took a sip of beer. 'Nothing I say is going to bring him back to them.'

'It might help to talk about it,' he suggested but she shook her head.

'It'll hurt to talk about it,' she muttered.

'Yes it will,' he agreed. 'But you need to. You need to begin to heal, Maddy.'

She swallowed hard. 'Well,' she said, pushing herself to her feet. 'Since I'm not nearly drunk enough to do that, we should get you back to bed.'

She Vanished their scraps and rubbish then pulled Remus to his feet. He lost his balance and grabbed Maddy around the shoulders to steady himself. She gasped then pushed him off her with a small, frightened noise, making him stumble back into the tree.

'Sorry, you surprised me,' she explained when he looked at her in surprise.

'Bull shit,' he said abruptly, pushing himself off the trunk. 'You've been jumping every time someone touches you unexpectedly. What's going on?'

'I haven't been sleeping well, that's all,' she said, taking his arm firmly. 'It's making me skittish. Now shut up and walk or I'll leave you out here all night.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to those who are reviewing. Your questions about Maddy are answered in this chappie then we leap ahead so they can start...getting on with their lives ;-)**

**WARNING: Mentions of rape and torture. Yes, The Fleaks, you guessed right.**

* * *

Chapter Three

They developed a pattern over the next couple of weeks. Remus grew stronger every day, managing to walk to the tree now without leaning on Maddy at all - just with a steadying hand on her shoulder. His transformation last week hadn't put his recovery back as much as they'd feared and they were walking longer distances now, talking as they did. Maddy still refused to discuss her husband with him but encouraged him to talk about Tonks, which he did.

He talked about their marriage: his doubts and how it had taken him so long to let go and love the younger woman; how scared he'd been when she fell pregnant; how worried he'd been that Teddy would inherit lycanthropy from him; how he was terrified now at the thought of raising the little boy by himself.

Maddy let him talk; let him lean on her and her support gave him the strength to start to work his way through his grief. Remus tried again to get her to talk about Marc, wanting to return the favour, but she changed the subject every time he raised the topic.

She'd really pushed him today, walking further than they had before, and he fell exhausted into bed a few minutes after they returned. He slept for quite a while, through lunch, waking to a delicious smell late in the afternoon.

'Maddy?' he called and a minute later she appeared.

'Hi, Sleeping Beauty,' she teased, giving him a small smile. 'I was going to wake you in a minute.'

Remus sat up and smiled as she sank down to the edge of the bed. 'I've cooked dinner,' she said, pulling his chess set towards them. 'I'll reheat it later. After I kick your ass at chess.'

He smiled and started to set the board up as she settled herself on the bed, crossing her legs opposite him. This had become a routine. She checked him over in the morning, gave him a potion then they walked and talked, lunch, then he rested and she cooked dinner. When he woke, they played chess or cards or Gobstones until they were hungry then they reheated the food and ate - Remus in bed and Maddy next to it. Every second day, Andromeda bought Teddy for a visit and he marvelled at how big he was getting.

Remus watched her ponder her move now. She looked tired and, as if she read his thoughts, she put a hand to her mouth to cover a yawn.

He knew she still wasn't sleeping - she tried to be quiet but he occasionally heard her footsteps down the hall at night, finding her more than once sitting and reading by lamp on the porch or in the kitchen.

'Why won't she let me help her?' he wondered again as she moved her piece. He chewed on his lip. He had started to develop a theory as to her behaviour - a theory he didn't want to let his mind dwell on too much. It was too horrible to even think about.

They played for a while before there was a knock on the door. Maddy went to answer it and returned to the bedroom with Kingsley Shacklebolt.

'Hello, Minister,' said Remus with a smile.

Kingsley grinned and sat down on the bed. 'How are you feeling?' he asked in his slow, deep drawl, smiling at Maddy as she sat back down on a chair next to the bed.

'Fine,' Remus told him, then looked at Maddy. 'I've stolen the best Healer from St Mungo's to look after me.'

She smiled weakly at him, uncharacteristically tense. Remus glanced over at her several times as he and Kingsley spoke, puzzled by her change in mood.

'I had a couple of reasons for coming over this evening,' Kingsley said twenty minutes later, his face changing.

He pulled something out of his pocket and pointed his wand at it, enlarging it. It was a box.

'Tonks' things from her desk,' he explained soberly, handing it to Remus. 'There isn't much in there. She took most of it home when she went on maternity leave.'

Remus nodded, putting the box aside. He still had to go through his wife's belongings - a task he'd been putting off.

'And I was hoping I'd find you here, Maddyson,' he said, looking at the woman who looked as though she'd been expecting this. 'We caught some Death Eater's that managed to escape from Hogwarts. We took their memories and…'

'You found the man that killed my husband,' Maddy said in a low voice.

Kingsley nodded. 'His own memory betrayed him.'

He paused then said gently, 'We found something else. Another memory. One you didn't tell us about.'

'There is nothing I didn't tell you about that night,' interrupted Maddy, her voice cold and her face hard.

'Maddyson…' Kingsley began.

'There. Is. Nothing,' she said firmly, standing up. 'Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to heat up dinner.'

She walked out of the room, leaving the two men staring after her. Remus glanced at Kingsley who quickly said, 'Don't ask me, Remus. I can't tell you.'

'What if I guess?' he said, feeling a twisting in the pit of his stomach. Could his growing suspicions really be correct?

'God, please let me be wrong,' he prayed.

'I'll tell you if you're wrong,' Kingsley told him and Remus swallowed.

'Did they do something else to Maddy?' he asked and Kingsley bit his lip. As the man remained silent, Remus took this as a confirmation.

'Did they…did they rape her?' Remus whispered, his voice trembling a little. Kingsley closed his eyes, his head dropping to his chest.

'Jesus,' Remus mumbled, running a hand over his eyes as cold washed over him. Not only did they torture her, kill her husband but they violated her as well. 'No wonder she won't talk about it.'

'Try and get her to talk about it,' Kingsley said urgently, keeping an eye on the door. 'Try and get her to make a statement.'

'He won't get away with it, will he?' Remus said in horror. 'His memories…'

'His memories can only be used against him if the complaint has been made,' Kingsley explained. 'If Maddyson doesn't tell us about the rape, we can't charge him for it.'

Remus frowned then nodded. 'I'll try and get her to talk about it,' he said softly.

'Alright,' Maddy said, returning from the kitchen. 'Dinner's ready. Kingsley, there's enough for you…'

'No. Thanks,' the man said, standing up. 'I've got to get back to the Ministry.'

He said his farewells then disapparated, leaving Remus to try and convince Maddy to talk to him. She helped him into the shower then, as usual, stood outside the door, just in case he needed help. He didn't until after he'd pulled on his boxers, suddenly feeling exhausted and weak, both emotionally and physically. Reluctantly, he called her and she helped him finish dressing, Remus watching her carefully. She was tense but professional, quickly pulling down his shirt then helping him back to bed.

With a wave of her wand, dinner came to them and they ate in his bedroom.

'This is good,' Remus said, swallowing a mouthful of food.

'Thanks,' she said, smiling a little as she poked at hers.

Remus watched her surreptitiously for a few minutes, seeing that she'd hardly eaten anything. He put down his bowl and stared at her, really looking at her now. Apart from the obvious signs of her pain in her face, she had lost far too much weight since her husband died over a month ago. She'd had a nice figure - thin but a little curvy - but now she'd lost that ass he'd admonished himself for admiring on their first meeting. He was sure that shirt that was loose on her now had fit like a second skin just months ago and her arms looked like they would snap if he touched her too firmly.

'What?' she asked, noticing him staring at her with a pained expression. 'Are you hurting?'

'Yes,' he lied, wanting her to come closer. 'My stomach.'

She put her food down and moved to sit next to him, touching his stomach then gasping in surprise when he grabbed her wrists. She tried to pull out of his grasp but he held tight.

'Let go of me,' she said urgently, tugging on her hands frantically.

'Tell me what they did to you,' he demanded, hating himself for scaring her but wanting her to finally face this.

She glared at him, twisting her arms. 'Nothing,' she snapped, more annoyed than frightened now. 'You know everything.'

'I do. I know,' he said softly. 'I know everything, Maddy. I just want to hear you say it.'

Maddy stopped struggling and stared at him, her blue eyes wide and fearful. 'Kingsley told you?' she asked in disbelief.

'I guessed,' he told her, loosening his grip on her wrists when she sank down to the edge of the bed. 'Maddy, talk to me. Tell me what happened.'

She was trembling and closed her eyes against the rising anguish in her chest. It had been getting harder and harder to fight against the hurt and she was tired. Too tired to fight it anymore.

'Marc was already in bed,' she began in a low voice. 'They came in through the back door and grabbed me while I was cleaning up. I…I tried to fight them and Marc came down to see what had happened and they attacked him. God! I _told_ him to run. I _screamed_ at him to run. Why didn't he listen to me?'

She swallowed hard, clenching her eyes tight as she rubbed her forehead hard.

'They just kept hitting him with curse after curse and they made me watch as they did it. They told him that if he begged them to stop, they would, but he didn't make a sound. They were getting frustrated - they knew Marc was Muggle born and they were so vicious. They wanted to hear him scream; to make him plead with them but he wouldn't.'

She let out a little breath as some tears fell unnoticed down her cheek. 'He was so brave, Remus. He didn't give into them. But then, they started on me.'

She shivered and Remus held her hand tightly. Maddy began to rock back and forwards, almost feeling the pain of the curses again as they tore at every cell in her body.

'They kept yelling at Marc, telling him this is what happened when he couldn't keep his wife under control. That this is what happened when Mudbloods tried to live with pure bloods. That there was a price to pay for our arrogance at daring to try and live amongst them; for helping fight against them.'

She shook her head, not feeling his hand come up to move around her shoulders. 'We were just fun for them, a distraction. When neither of us begged them to stop, I guess they decided that we needed an extra push.'

She took a shaky breath. 'I was only half conscious when I realised what was happening but I couldn't…I couldn't stop them. I kept passing out but… I could hear Marc. I could hear him screaming.'

The memory of her husband screaming at her rapists to stop; screaming that he'd do whatever they wanted if they'd leave her alone, was too much. Tears that had been pushed aside for weeks finally exploded out of her.

'They didn't stop,' she managed to say, great sobs distorting her voice as the agony inside bent her over with its force. 'They were laughing at him then, when they were finished with me…they killed him. They…killed….'

A wailing sound was loud in the room and she was shocked to realise she was making the noise. 'He's gone,' she cried, the pain in her chest so severe she was sure she'd just felt her heart ripping in half. 'God, he's really gone.'

Remus felt the grief that he'd been holding back escape and he pulled her closer, holding her on his lap; in his arms, as she'd done to him as they both sobbed for the people they'd loved and lost.

* * *

It felt like hours before Maddy's body stopped heaving with sobs and her whimpers of pain faded. Her face was pressed into his shoulder and her body curled around his, shivers shaking her intermittently. Remus tightened his arms around her and felt her do the same. His face felt tight from his tears and he was exhausted but he didn't want to break the connection between the two of them yet. For the first time since he'd woken up in the hospital, he didn't feel lost or helpless. Some one needed him; someone he could help and who had, in turn, helped him as well.

'Maddy?' he said softly after several minutes, his eyes starting to droop. Her grip on him had relaxed and the shuddering that racked her body had stopped.

She didn't answer and he shifted, looking down at her face to see that it was peaceful. She'd cried herself to sleep and he couldn't bring himself to wake her. And, a little selfishly, he didn't want to go to sleep alone again. After so many years by himself, he'd finally gotten used to Tonks in bed next to him and he missed that contact. He gently moved Maddy so she fell into the space beside him then lay down himself, staring at her for several seconds before his own eyes shut.

* * *

When he woke the next morning, he felt better than he had since Tonks' death, both physically and emotionally. He was alone now but knew he hadn't been for long. He could still feel the warmth from her body on the bed. A little guilt shot through him and he was a little puzzled as to why. Nothing inappropriate had happened between them.

He yawned then sniffed the air: he could smell bacon frying and his stomach grumbled. He tried getting out of bed himself, walking on unsteady legs to the bathroom but relieved he didn't have to call Maddy for help. He decided to eat in the kitchen at the table and held onto the wall as he walked out - the first time he'd walked further than his nightstand without Maddy next to him.

'What are you doing?' Maddy exclaimed with a frown when she saw him. She moved towards him but stopped when he held up a hand.

'I can do it,' he insisted and Maddy watched him closely until he fell into a chair with a loud exhale.

'See,' he puffed and she smiled, a smile that came close to her normal smiles.

'Aren't you clever? I'll get you a cane for you to use until you're steadier on your feet, Superman,' she said wryly, walking back to the stove and flipping a couple of eggs onto a plate. 'I've owled Molly and asked her to visit while I go to the shops for food. And I'm going to the Ministry. I'll report the…the rape and see their therapist.'

'Maddy, that's good,' he said with a warm smile. 'You're doing the right thing.'

She gave him a tight smile. 'I refuse to let those bastards take another damn thing from me, Remus.'

She put the plate in front of him and briskly ordered, 'Eat.'

He smiled and nodded, shovelling food in quickly, happy that she'd decided to report what they had done to her. Maddy sat down opposite him and ate as well, her appetite having finally returned somewhat. She'd slept better last night than she had since Marc died and had woken up feeling optimistic for the first time. And, strangely, a little guilty.

'Did you sleep alright?' Remus asked after a few minutes, taking a sip of his coffee.

'Mmm,' she mumbled, her mouth full of food. She swallowed and said, 'I did. I'm sorry about falling asleep and my breakdown…'

'Don't be,' he said, shaking his head. 'I think it was good that you got some of it out and…well, you helped me too in the process.'

He took another bite of bacon then said, 'When you woke up this morning, did you feel a little, um…'

'Guilty?' she asked and he nodded. 'Yeah, I did. I'm not sure why.'

'Do you think it's because we slept well and not alone?' he asked and was surprised to see Maddy blush.

'Maybe,' she muttered, poking at her egg. She looked up at him. 'Did _you_ sleep better as well?'

Remus nodded and they were silent for several moments.

'I don't feel so alone,' she said suddenly and Remus smiled softly.

'Nor do I,' he agreed. 'Maybe that's why we felt guilty. Because we've got each other to lean on and that's helping to make this easier than it might have been by ourselves.'

Maddy bit her lip and frowned. 'I guess I feel like I should be completely miserable all the time or it would seem as if I didn't love Marc; that I don't miss him.'

She stopped talking when she heard her voice waver. 'Me too,' he said, reaching over to take her hand in support. 'But that's not true. And I don't think Tonks or Marc would want that, or that they would object to us trying to get through this together since they aren't here.'

Maddy let out a breath and nodded then they both jumped when there was a knock on the door and Molly's voice calling out to them. Maddy pulled her hand from his and took her plate to the sink before she left, leaving the red head fussing around Remus.

She took her time, calling in at St Mungo's to borrow a cane. Remus was coming along better than she thought he would but no need to push too hard. She also called in at the Ministry of Magic and spoke to Kingsley, who took her statement about the rape.

'Thank you,' he said when she was leaving after she spoke to a counsellor. 'That can't have been easy to do but they'll never get out of Azkaban now.'

She nodded and left for Remus' house. She wondered if it was a good idea for them to be leaning so heavily on each other but at the moment she thought that it might be the only way for the both of them to get through this in one piece.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Nic: Had to put my reply here as you weren't logged in. Sorry but this fic is not going to be a drama - no suspense, no relapses, no Molly fussing, very little self sacrifice unless you include Remus and Maddy not jumping each other the second they start to realise their attraction :-)**__** It's a little bit angsty but essentially a love story (and an excuse to write sex scenes so Remus can get laid). My stuff usually starts off quite slow as I try and give you some background to the OC and I hope I haven't made Maddy a 'Mary-Sue' (though I've never been really sure what a Mary-Sue is exactly - I'm assuming it's not a good thing). Thanks for reading though, and I hope you warm to it in coming chapters.**_

**As I promised, we jump ahead six months and we have sex this chapter. Yay!! And you know that once I get them started, they don't stop shagging until their hearts give out!**

* * *

Chapter Four

**Six months later**

'Merry Christmas, Remus, Maddy, Teddy,' Arthur Weasley said cheerfully, letting them into his house.

He shook Remus' hand and took his coat, then gave Maddy a hug before he took hers as well. Ushering them into the living room, they heard various voices calling out greetings.

'I'm going to give Molly a hand,' Maddy mumbled, waving to the room in general then handing Teddy to Remus, kissing the little boy quickly when he let out a noise of complaint.

Remus watched her as she disappeared, then shook himself out of his stupor and made his way across the room to sit with Bill and Charlie Weasley.

They chatted for several minutes, Harry taking Teddy, his godson, off him and wandering off to the other room.

'So,' Bill said quietly after Charlie excused himself to get a drink. 'How are things going?'

Remus smiled at him. 'Everything's fine,' he told his friend. 'I'm back on my feet and getting on with things. Having Teddy back has helped.'

His son had only returned to him full time in the last couple of months, his recovery taking longer than anyone but Maddy had expected.

'And having Maddy staying with you still must help too,' Bill said slyly and his tone made Remus frown.

'It's not like that, Bill,' he insisted.

'Isn't it?' he retorted knowingly. 'I saw the way you were looking at her just now. You two act like a couple with each other. If it isn't like that yet, it will be soon.'

Remus shook his head and sighed, picking at a loose thread on his pants, trying ignore the little twinge inside of him that said the other man wasn't completely wrong.

* * *

Maddy had been set to leave once Remus was well enough to have Teddy back but he'd talked her into staying. He liked having another adult around and enjoyed her company. Maddy had no place to live - having given up the house she and Marc had shared.

'I can't stand being there,' she told him at the time.

She hadn't returned to work, deciding to take a long leave of absence to try and fully recover from the attack and Marc's death. It made sense for her to stay living with him, and it made his monthly transformations easier, knowing that Teddy was being well cared for by his godmother. He knew that it probably wasn't particularly healthy that he and Maddy still lived together; still leaned on each other but he couldn't seem to face her leaving.

Then, there was his current, and more bothersome, problem.

He was attracted to Maddy - not necessarily a surprise after the last six months. It had taken every one of these last months before Maddy stopped jumping at the slightest touch - and it had taken a lot of physical contact with other people, people she trusted, to get her to where she was now. And since Remus was the person she trusted most, he'd been the one to do most of the touching.

'The counsellor called it a kind of immersion therapy,' she'd told him when she'd first asked him to do it. 'I'm sorry to ask you but if you don't mind…I think it'll help.'

She'd asked Remus to use physical contact with her: touching her shoulder, holding hands, arms around each other. All innocent and platonic - but necessary to stop her flinching at the slightest touch. It had been working well: her therapist had ended their sessions several weeks ago and told her that she should start thinking about getting back into the dating scene whenever she was ready.

Remus had agreed to do this for her reluctantly at first, but now the problem was how to _stop_ touching her; stop _wanting_ to touch her.

'It's not Maddy so much as my general horniness,' he kept telling himself, irritably. 'I'd get a hard on looking at Molly, I'm so fucking desperate.'

He couldn't even escape in his sleep . He'd started dreaming about sex, more specifically, sex with Maddy, and he was embarrassed one morning to discover he'd had his first wet dream since he was sixteen.

Six months. Wasn't that too soon to start looking at other women, especially a woman who had been his late wife's best friend?

* * *

Maddy greeted Molly and her daughter in law, Fleur, with a hug then sat down to help with the vegetables. She and Fleur spoke quietly for a while about the other woman's new pregnancy then Maddy told her that Teddy had taken his first steps last week.

'It was only one or two,' she said with a big grin. 'But you should have seen his face. He looked so proud of himself. And Remus shot a whole roll of film. I told him to wait a week or two and he'd be walking everywhere but he was too excited.'

Molly and Fleur exchanged a look and Maddy frowned. 'What's wrong?' she asked and Molly sat next to her.

'You and Remus have become very close,' she said delicately and Maddy's frown deepened.

'We have,' she agreed, her voice holding a dangerous tone, warning them she'd only tolerate this line of questioning so far.

'You don't think you might be getting too close?' Fleur asked.

Maddy's jaw clenched and she didn't answer immediately because she didn't want to lie. Yes - she did think they were on the verge of overstepping the boundaries that had been looking a little shaky over the last few weeks. She was reluctant to admit that she thought about Remus in that way, feeling a little like she betraying both Marc, by being attracted to another man, and Tonks by being attracted to her husband, but it was getting harder to ignore the sexual tension in the house when they were alone.

'If you want to say something to me, please just say it,' she told the two women now.

'It's simple to just fall into the habit of being with someone because it's uncomplicated and familiar,' Molly said gently. 'If you and Remus have plans for a future together…'

'We don't,' Maddy said firmly.

'Then don't you think it's time to stop leaning on each other and to try and get on with your lives?' Fleur said. 'How are you going to be able to move on, maybe find someone else, if you are so reliant on each other?'

Maddy sighed and put down the peeler. 'You aren't saying anything Remus and I haven't said a thousand times - to ourselves and each other,' she said, leaning back in her chair. 'It's just…it's hard to move on. I guess it's easier to stay as we are.'

'Easier,' said Molly. 'But not necessarily healthier.'

Maddy nodded and stood up. 'I'm going to go for a walk,' she told them, seeing their frowns. 'I'll be careful. I just need some space.'

* * *

She rugged up against the cold and went for a walk in the woods, coming back twenty minutes later to see Remus sitting on the stairs of the porch, staring off blankly into the distance.

'Hi,' she said and he looked over at her.

He grinned and shifted so she could sit down beside him. 'Hey,' he said as she sat. 'It's cold out here, isn't it?'

'Yeah,' she mumbled, her whole body felt frozen. She shivered, Remus noticed and put his arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm to try and warm her up.

'Don't let Molly see you doing that,' she said softly, leaning her head against his shoulder. 'She's already given me one lecture today.'

'About how much time we spend together?' he asked and she nodded, looking up at him.

'Did you get one too?' she asked and he shrugged, drawing her gently back to his chest.

'Kind of,' he told her. 'Bill's not as good as Molly at lectures but he got the general point across. They think we shouldn't live together anymore.'

Maddy sighed then pulled away from him. 'Not bad advice,' she admitted, looking at him. 'We've discussed this before.'

He sighed as well, not liking where this was going. 'You're moving out, aren't you?' he said resignedly and she nodded.

'As soon as I find a place,' she said softly. 'We'll still see each other…'

Remus' jaw clenched and he looked back out over the yard, pulling her back against his side. They were quiet for a minute then Remus said in a half whisper, 'I'll miss you, Maddy.'

She swallowed hard then said, 'I'll miss you too.'

A door opened behind them and Charlie poked his head out then waved his wand. 'Come in from under that mistletoe and have some dinner,' he called with a mischievious grin then disappeared again.

Maddy and Remus both looked up at the same time to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging above them that had definitely not been there before Charlie appeared.

'Childish,' Maddy chided then looked at Remus.

'It's bad luck not to kiss under that stuff, you know,' he told her with a smile and she let out a soft breath of laughter.

'I don't think I could be any unluckier than I've already been this year,' she said, standing up.

Remus stood up too and, when she turned to walk up the stairs, he grasped her arm. 'I'm not prepared to take the chance,' he murmured then quickly leaned over and kissed her.

Soft, short and, on the surface, perfectly innocent but enough to make their cold bodies suddenly begin to overheat. He pulled away, the kiss only lasting a few seconds, but he could see on her face that it had shaken her as much as it had him. The soft press of their lips had made him hotter than he could remember being in a long time.

'God, I really need to get laid,' he thought.

'We should go in,' she said a little shakily then turned and left him trying to will his erection to deflate.

* * *

They ate Christmas lunch without saying a word to each other, confused and aroused by the kiss, both of them cursing the fact they wanted to do it again - properly this time. Remus was taking Teddy to Andromeda's after lunch and Maddy apparated back to his place, trying to read then giving up and turning on the record player, finding some old songs she loved. She sang along softly, swaying to the music as she cleaned the kitchen cupboards out, needing to do something with her hands. She could feel the imprint of his lips on hers and her whole body was tingling still from the tiny kiss.

'How could I have let this happen?' she mumbled as she rubbed vigorously at a spot of spilt sauce. 'He's my friend. I don't want anything to get in the way of that.'

Remus heard the music as he walked in at sunset, then watched affectionately from the doorway as Maddy's ass moved from side to side and she sang softly along with a Billie Holliday song.

She turned around, jumping when she saw him.

'Sorry,' he said quickly, knowing she was still a little skittish when surprised.

She shook her head, blushing when she realised he'd been watching her.

'You want a drink?' he asked, moving into the room and she looked surprised.

'Where's Teddy?' she asked, knowing he'd never drink with his son in the house.

'He fell asleep at Andromeda's so I left him there for the night,' he said, getting two glasses out of the cupboard and a bottle of fairly potent mead. 'She's thrilled and I'm kind of glad. It's been a long day and I feel like getting shit faced.'

Maddy stared at him then giggled. 'It's weird hearing you swear,' she told him when he looked questioningly at her. 'You don't do it very often.'

She took the full glass he offered and took a sip. Remus walked out to the living room and sat down, taking a large gulp of his drink. Maddy moved to turn off the music but he stopped her.

'Leave it on,' he told her.

She sat down next to him and they drank in silence for a while just listening to the music. Remus refilled their glasses after they were quickly emptied.

'Should we talk about it?' he asked suddenly, after they'd both downed half of their second glass. Maddy glanced over at him then looked away as he turned his head towards her. 'Maddy?'

'There's nothing to talk about, is there?' she said quietly. 'It's not as though we made out, Remus. It was a quick kiss under the mistletoe for good luck.'

She took a long pull of her drink, nearly finishing it. 'Those kids kept moving that stuff around all morning. I also got caught by Charlie under the mistletoe - he stuck his damn tongue in my mouth, and, if I saw correctly, you kissed Molly _and_ Hermione.'

'Kissing Molly and Hermione didn't give me a hard on,' he muttered under his breath.

'Sorry?' she said, finishing the mead.

'Nothing,' he said louder, grabbing the bottle and pouring more into his glass then filling Maddy's as well.

'I feel guilty,' Remus said with a frown. 'I feel guilty sometimes that I'm happy or that I'm laughing. Like I shouldn't be smiling without her.'

'I know,' she murmured, curling up into the corner of the couch. 'I'll forget for a while then feel bad that I'm not thinking about him. Is it too soon to not be thinking about him all the time?'

'I don't know,' he admitted, shifting on the seat so he was facing her. 'It's been just over six months. Seven months for you. Everyone's started talking about me trying to get out there and date again.'

'Mmm, they've mentioned that to me as well,' she admitted with a frown. 'I don't know if I could face that. Being alone with men I don't know. I can't imagine letting a stranger paw at me.'

Remus murmured an agreement, then frowned a little. 'Do you miss that contact though?' he asked and she looked surprised.

'What? Men pawing at me?'

'No,' he said with a smile. 'Just…affection. You know, touching and hugging and kissing.' He sighed. 'Sex…it's been so damn long I've almost forgotten what to do.'

Maddy giggled and finished her drink, pouring herself another. 'It's just like riding a bike, they say,' she told him and he chuckled, holding out his glass for her to fill it with the last of the mead.

'Those kinds of needs can be met alone though,' he said, the alcohol making him admit to things he wouldn't have discussed with her sober.

Maddy giggled again and turned pink. 'Been doing that a lot, have you?' she teased and Remus' face flamed.

'It _has_ been a while,' he grumbled and she laughed.

'Yeah, well, you're not the only one who's suffering,' she admitted, stretching a little. 'I like sex too. Or at least, I used to. I don't know how I'm going to react to that kind of intimacy now. I want to… I can still…'

She bit her lip and turned pink. 'I still get…you know…needs, and I can still…um, get enjoyment from touching.'

Remus felt his body stir as an image of her touching herself ran through his mind. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to groan out loud.

'I just don't know if I'll be able to handle a man doing the touching,' she continued. 'I think it'll take someone a long time to earn that kind of trust. If it's someone I know well…'

She looked as though she'd thought better of what she was going to say and she shrugged.

They drank as one then Remus said, 'The point that I was trying to make was that I don't miss sex as much as I do the other stuff. Kissing. I miss kissing. I'm good at kissing. I'm going to get rusty.'

Maddy laughed and sipped at her drink. 'Yeah, I miss that too,' she admitted. 'Maybe that's why we made such a big deal out of a simple peck today. It was nothing but we turned it into an issue.'

Remus frowned, thinking. 'I guess,' he murmured, finishing the drink.

He was silent for a few moments then said, 'I liked it. It was only a little kiss but…it made me feel alive again.'

Heat swept through Maddy and she quickly gulped down the rest of her drink. 'Sorry,' he said softly, seeing her face redden and sensing her discomfort.

Maddy shook her head and said, 'No. Don't be. I felt the same.'

Remus stared at her then leaned over and kissed her. This time, he let his lips linger on hers for longer before he pulled away.

They stared at each other, trying for a moment to not let this happen but now they'd started…

Remus leaned back towards her as Maddy shifted closer and their lips met. Tentatively, softly at first then, as need hit them hard, their lips parted and the kiss they could have still passed off as one between friends turned into something else.

Their glasses fell unnoticed to the floor as their lips teased each other gently. Remus' hands rose to cup her face as the kiss deepened and grew, and he felt Maddy's hands touch his wrists then slide down his arms to come to rest on his chest, clutching at his shirt a little. His tongue flicked at her lip and Maddy moaned.

When he heard the tiny noise, Remus lost hold of the little restraint he'd been employing and pushed her back onto the couch. Panic seeped through the desire and Remus felt her tense up. He pulled away, breathing heavily as he looked down at her face.

'Too much?' he asked, his voice hoarse.

'Just sudden,' she admitted, wanting him to keep kissing her.

'You want to stop?' he asked, on one hand praying she'd say no, on the other wondering if it wouldn't be best if she did stop this.

'Do you?' she asked, seeing the conflict in his eyes.

'No,' he told her. 'But…maybe we should.'

Maddy bit her lip and nodded. 'Maybe we should,' she agreed and Remus sat up, pulling her up as well.

They sat in somewhat stunned silence.

'I didn't mean to frighten you,' Remus said gently, taking her hand.

'You didn't,' she said. 'Not really. I think you just caught me unawares...'

They were quiet for a moment then Maddy stood up, letting his hand drop from hers. 'I'm going to…' she indicated towards her bedroom and Remus nodded in agreement.

'Yeah, me too,' he said standing up. 'I'm going to tidy up first.'

He picked up the glasses and Maddy nodded. 'Night,' she said, backing away.

'Night,' Remus called as he walked towards the kitchen.

* * *

Maddy closed the door behind her and let out a shaky breath.

'He _is_ a good kisser,' she mumbled, putting a trembling hand to her lips.

Her whole body was tingling, every nerve awake and aroused and she cursed herself for the sliver of panic she'd allowed through. If she hadn't tensed up, she and Remus would be…

'Making a big mistake,' she told herself firmly.

But if it was sure to be a big mistake, why didn't it feel wrong? And why did she want nothing more than to go out to that kitchen and finish what they'd started? She bit her lip then turned to the door, putting her hand on the knob before hesitating.

'God, what do I want?' she moaned, banging her head not very gently against the wood.

Remus was having a similar discussion with himself in the kitchen, wishing he'd kept his mouth shut about his fleeting doubts.

'Very fleeting,' he muttered, having no such doubts now. He wanted her, badly, and was more than a little surprised that kissing Maddy hadn't felt wrong in the slightest.

'God help me, I'm going to try again,' he told himself, walking down the hall to stand outside her bedroom door.

He took a deep breath then frowned and shook his head, turning and walking back to his room. He put his hand on the knob and pushed the door open then stopped, biting his lip indecisively. He looked over at Maddy's closed door and walked back to stand in front of it, staring at it. Finally he made a decision and raised his hand to knock as the door opened.

'Oh,' she said, jumping a little.

They looked at each other for a moment then Remus stepped forward and kissed her, his heart racing when she didn't hesitate to kiss him back. Their arms moved around each other and the kiss quickly turned hot and hungry, Remus lifting Maddy to her tiptoes, holding her tight against him and moaning at the softness of her body. Her tongue stroked over his and as his teeth scraped her lip gently, she made a desperate noise in her throat. She could feel his long, hard erection pressing against her and was relieved that she felt no sense of panic. Because she wanted him inside her - as soon as possible.

Her hands moved to grasp the hem of his shirt and she pulled away, yanking it over his head quickly. Remus helped pull it off then threw it on the floor as their fingers moved to undo her buttons.

'My room,' he said suddenly before pushing her shirt off her shoulders. 'Bigger bed.'

Maddy nodded and pulled his head down to hers, kissing him again. Remus slid his hands down to her much admired ass and groaned, filling his hands with the denim covered flesh. He walked backwards to his room, fumbling to open the door while keeping his lips on hers.

The next thing he knew they were on his bed and he was pushing down Maddy's jeans as her fingers worked on his fly. Her hand brushed over his hard cock and it twitched, so turned on now he was hurting.

'God, I can't make this slow,' he said desperately into her mouth as they both tugged his jeans and boxers down. 'Maddy, are you sure? Cause this is going to be fast.'

As he kicked his pants off, she yanked her underwear down, making Remus' breath catch in his throat when he saw her completely naked.

'I'm sure,' she whispered then moaned when his mouth fell to her neck, biting gently.

His hand slid over her breast and down her ribs, stopping between her legs. He slid a finger inside her, moaning in relief that she was already wet and ready. Remus shifted, parting her legs then with one long, deep stroke he filled her, both of them groaning at the sensation.

'Jesus, this is going to be even quicker than I thought,' he whispered hoarsely into her ear then he moved, withdrawing only a little before pushing back inside her. 'You feel so incredible.'

'Mmm,' she moaned in agreement, knowing with very little effort on his part, he had her on the edge of orgasm.

She arched up, reaching for the release that hovered just out of her grasp. Remus groaned and moved with her, realising as he did that he had very little left.

'Harder, Remus,' Maddy begged, arching up desperately now.

A surge of lust shook him and he forgot about everything except how she was making him feel. He withdrew and plunged hard and fast back into her heat - once, twice then swore loudly when he felt the burn of his orgasm.

'Fuck,' he cursed, knowing it was too soon but unable to stop it. 'Maddy, I'm coming.'

He thrust once more, crying out as he spilled himself inside her. He collapsed on top of her, breathing hard. He was blown away by how fast and powerful his release had been, then a wave of embarrassment washed over him. He lifted his head and looked at Maddy who was breathing hard as well.

'I'm sorry, Maddy,' he said regretfully, seeing in her face how turned on she was. 'It's just been so long.'

'It's fine,' she assured him but he wasn't accepting it.

'No, it's not,' he said, leaning over to kiss her and, as he pushed against her groin, she gasped a little, his still turgid cock pushing deeper into her.

He did it again and a noise escaped her lips. Two more pushes and she was crying out his name and arching up, one hand on his ass as she held him tight against her, her orgasm strong and long.

**A/N: He is human after all!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Remus grinned and Maddy chuckled at the look on his face.

'Better?' he asked and she nodded, turning bright red.

'Sorry,' he said again, taking his weight on one arm as he brushed some hair away from her face. 'It's been bloody close to a year for me and with the alcohol and…you…'

'It really is fine,' she told him. 'You…made it up to me.'

Remus looked down at her, concern in his eyes. 'Are you alright?' he asked gently, touching her face lightly. 'With this…after everything that happened, is this…?'

Maddy knew what he was asking and nodded. 'I'm ok,' she told him with a reassuring smile, a little surprised that it was true. 'I'm very ok.'

He smiled, leaning over to kiss her.

This time, there was no urgency, no desperation. This time their kiss was something completely different. Tender, explorative, as they took their time to learn every nuance of each other's mouth. Remus' arms shook as he held himself up but he didn't want to stop. He slid his arms around Maddy, rolling them both onto their sides as the lip lock began to grow. It felt like hours that they just kissed, lips softly caressing each other, tongues stroking as they enjoyed the almost forgotten intimacy they were sharing.

Eventually, breathless, they parted and looked at each other, staring as though they'd never seen the other before.

'What are we doing?' Maddy asked softly and Remus frowned.

'It _has_ been a long time if I need to explain it,' he said, trying a joke.

Maddy smiled but said, 'Is this just…a release of tension? Are we done now?'

Remus' frown deepened and he shook his head. 'I didn't plan this, Maddy,' he said softly. 'I think it's been coming for a while though. I don't know what we're doing anymore than you do.'

He lifted a hand and ran a hand over her hair. 'And it's up to you whether or not we're done now. Personally, I'd like another chance to show you I can last longer than the average fifteen year old.'

Maddy let out a amused breath and bit her lip. 'This doesn't feel weird,' she whispered, surprised that it was true.

Remus smiled and touched her face gently. 'No, it doesn't,' he agreed.

They stared at each other. The moment was becoming too intense and Maddy searched for a way to break it.

'Um, could you pass me my wand, please?' she asked, watching him as he rolled over to grab the wand off the floor where it had fallen out of her jeans.

Her eyes slid over him. She'd seen him naked before but had been focused on his recovery and not interested in his body. But now…now she was very interested and was impressed by how lithe and toned he was under the baggy clothes he wore. He didn't have big, bulging muscles, which she didn't find attractive anyway, but the strength in his body was obvious, his muscles flexing under his skin as he moved.

'His ass is gorgeous,' she thought, looking down at his tight behind, her hand twitching when she remembered how that flesh felt. 'And the front view is pretty damn impressive as well.'

Maddy could feel her libido kicking into gear again and squirmed a little as heat began to gather in her groin.

Remus handed her the wand and, as she ran it over herself, casting Contraceptive and Cleansing spells, he let his eyes wander.

'She's like a fantasy,' he realised, gazing down at her and feeling his own body spring back to life. 'Damn near perfect…'

He felt inadequate for a moment… then he saw the blemishes - the scars the Death Eaters had given her breaking up the perfection of the creamy skin. He was surprised to find he was almost relieved to see the cruel, raised markings; to see that she wasn't just a dream.

The scars took her off the pedestal; made her real, and Remus wanted the real Maddy, not a fantasy. He wanted the cranky-before-her-coffee, flannelette pyjama wearing woman with tangled hair that he saw every morning; he wanted the woman who's pancakes were like rubber; the woman that would resort to bribery to avoid changing a dirty nappy; the woman that stomped her foot in frustration when she couldn't find one of the trashy romance novels she kept littering his house with.

That was the woman he wanted. The one that was as real and as imperfect as he was.

He reached out and touched a scar across her ribs, running his finger along the length of it. She squirmed under the tickling touch and curled her body up, trying to cover the ugly markings.

'Don't,' Remus said softly, putting his hand on her leg. 'Don't hide yourself.'

'The scars…' she began tremulously but he interrupted.

'Show how brave you are,' he finished for her. 'Don't hide them, Maddy. Be proud of the fact you survived.'

She gazed at him with wide, vulnerable eyes. 'They're ugly,' she said softly.

'No. _Mine_ are ugly,' he told her then raised an eyebrow. 'Didn't seem to stop you jumping me, though.'

He smiled at her and she chuckled. 'I think the alcohol is affecting your memory, Lupin,' she said, touching one of the scars on his chest. 'I believe you made the first move.'

'Did I?' he asked, then drew in a sharp breath as her finger traced the scar, lightly brushing over his nipple as it did.

'Mmm,' she murmured, pressing her hand flat against his skin and running it down to his stomach then back up again. She looked up at his face, seeing him watching her - his smile gone.

'Your scars aren't ugly,' she told him. 'I could never go through what you do, Remus. It takes a strong person to take the punishment you do each month and to not be bitter or angry. Each of these scars is a symbol of your strength; your character. They aren't ugly. They're beautiful.'

Remus swallowed hard against the wave of emotion that washed over him then leaned over to kiss her, his lips touching hers lightly at first then with growing urgency as desire flared again.

'Did you want this to be done?' he asked, kissing her chin then moving his mouth along her jaw.

She made a small noise in her throat and shook her head. 'N...no,' she gasped softly as he sucked her earlobe into his mouth.

'Thank God,' he mumbled, letting his teeth scrape over her skin as his mouth made its way down her neck. 'I swear, Maddy. You will definitely not be disappointed this time.'

She smiled then drew in a breath as his tongue stroked over the hollow of her throat.

'I wasn't disappointed last time,' she said then bit her lip, her head falling back to give him better access to her neck. 'Didn't you hear me scream?'

He chuckled then moaned faintly. 'You smell so good,' he mumbled, pressing his face into her neck for a moment, just breathing in her fragrance.

She smelled fresh and citrusy and he just wanted to dive into that delicious scent and stay there. He kissed her pulse point, where the perfume seemed stronger and felt her heart beat speed up under his lips, her reaction arousing him immeasurably.

'This is so much better than my dreams,' he heard her murmur and he raised his head.

'You dreamed about this?' he asked and her face went pink as she realised what she'd said.

'Once or twice,' she admitted reluctantly and Remus grinned.

He kissed her hard then said, 'Me too. That day I did the washing early? Wet dream.'

Maddy smiled delightedly and exclaimed, 'Really?'

He chuckled and bit her neck lightly. 'You like that?' he teased, nibbling his way down her neck and across her shoulder. 'You like that I dreamed about doing this to you? You like that I jerked off thinking about doing this to you?'

'Mmm,' she moaned as his lips made their way over the curve of her breast and her body throbbed. 'I do. Almost as much as I like what you're doing right now.'

Remus smiled against her skin then circled his tongue around her taut nipple, feeling it harden even further. Their teasing fell by the wayside as he spent a long time discovering all the tastes and textures of her skin. Maddy squirmed underneath him as he managed to find every spot that made her hot but when his lips moved up her thigh, she stopped him.

'I can't,' she whispered when he raised his head. 'Not yet.'

He shifted, holding himself over her. 'Ok,' he said softly then lowered his head to kiss her.

Their lips moved slowly on each other and Maddy felt the tip of his cock nudging her clit, sending jolts of electricity shooting through her. She lifted her hips, rubbing herself over the soft, silky head and her breathing got heavier. Remus moaned, the stimulation of her wet folds and her hardening clit just about sending him insane. He adjusted his position the flexed his hips, feeling himself slide inside her. Maddy thrust her hips up, trying to make him go faster but Remus held himself still, refusing to shove himself into her the way his own body was screaming for him to.

'I'm going to be going slow, Maddy,' he told her, kissing her quickly. 'Very. Very. Slow.'

She moaned in frustration and he smiled, pushing himself forward so his body sank deeper into hers. He could feel Maddy shaking and angled his body so he hit her clit with each movement.

Thrusting shallowly, he slowly entered her, inch by inch, torturously slow but so worth it when, finally encased in her, Maddy shattered, crying out and wrapping her legs around him to hold him close. He held himself still as he waited out her climax, clenching his jaw tight and thinking about anything but the writhing woman beneath him to stop himself joining her.

When her tremors eased, he withdrew then pushed back into her, hearing her groan and unable to stop his own. Her eyes opened and, when he saw the satisfaction there, his ego jumped for joy.

'You_ are _good at this,' she murmured and he grinned.

He slid his arms under her and rolled them over. 'Want to show me how good you are?' he suggested and she smiled widely.

'I'd love to,' she replied, leaning down to kiss him before she began to rock her hips.

He gripped her ass tightly, guiding her movements but she had decided to tease him now. She moved, lifting herself until only the tip of his erection was still inside her then sinking slowly back down on him. After a minute of this slow, steady build up, Remus couldn't stand the languid pace and started to thrust up into her, making her stop.

'Uh uh,' she admonished him, shifting her weight. 'This is my turn.'

He grinned and pulled her head down for a quick kiss before Maddy started to rock on him faster, their breathing speeding up quickly. Remus gripped her ass with one hand and pushed himself up with the other so he could access her lips. Maddy moaned and their movements became erratic.

'Maddy,' he warned, fingers biting into her ass as he tried to hold back his orgasm. 'Baby, come with me.'

Maddy cried out and he felt the spasms of her body squeezing him. He let go too, riding the waves of pleasure as he came inside her.

With a final groan, Remus wrapped his arms around Maddy and fell back onto the bed, holding her tightly against his chest as they waited for their breathing to even out.

'You sure showed me,' he mumbled into her shoulder and he felt her laugh.

They lay together in silence for a minute then Maddy kissed his shoulder. 'I'm heavy,' she mumbled but he shook his head.

'No,' he insisted, holding her tighter. 'You're fine. Don't move yet.'

Maddy lifted her head to look at him, catching something in his tone. 'Are you ok?' she asked and he nodded.

'Yeah,' he said, raising his hands now to hold her hair back. 'It's just been a long time since I held someone like this.'

Maddy frowned and pulled back a little. There was something in his voice… 'Were you just thinking of Tonks?' she asked and saw the guilt flash across his face.

'Oh,' she breathed, biting her lip.

She slid off of him and felt his hand grasp her arm. 'Maddy…'

'No,' she said, her voice too bright as she pulled her arm away from him and stood up. 'It's alright. You and me…this…it's just frustration. I know that. Of course you're thinking of her.'

'Maddy…' he said again, sitting up. 'I…'

'Really, Remus,' she insisted, gathering her clothes. 'I understand. She was your wife and there's nothing wrong with you pretending I'm her when we….'

'Maddy, will you stop?' he said, sliding off the bed but she was hurrying towards the door.

'It was fun, Remus,' she said, opening the door. 'Night.'

She shut the door behind her and he stood speechless on the other side.

'God!' he muttered when he'd gotten the power of speech back and he searched for his boxers.

He was shocked by how badly he wanted his friend; how much he'd enjoyed making love to her but this wasn't all about the sex - the amazing, hot, awesome sex - and he knew it. He had fun with Maddy, both in and out of bed and, when he had a flash of himself holding Tonks as he had just been holding Maddy, he suddenly felt a shot of guilt that he'd had such a good time with another woman. That he didn't want to pretend that Maddy was someone else - a substitute for the woman he'd lost, a temporary way to scratch an itch. That was why he felt guilty - he enjoyed being with Maddy far too much.

She'd misunderstood and he couldn't let her go away thinking she was just a replacement for his former wife. He cared too much about her to allow her to believe that.

He knocked on her door. 'Maddy?' he called. 'Maddy, please let me in. Let me explain.' There was no answer and he hoped she hadn't cast a Silencing Spell.

'Alright,' he called, leaning against the door. 'Then I'll talk through the door. Maddy, I _was_ thinking of Tonks. I was thinking that I hadn't thought about her all night. I was thinking that I had so much fun tonight with you, that we were just so amazing together and I felt guilty that I _wasn't_ wishing you were her. I wanted to be with you tonight, not as a substitute for Tonks…. I wanted _you_, and I feel a little like I'm betraying her because I'm happy.'

He waited and, after a few seconds, the door opened. Maddy's eyes were filled with tears and Remus felt his chest hurt.

'I'm sorry,' he said softly, cupping her face and kissing her. 'Maddy, I'm sorry.'

He pulled her into his arms and held her, feeling some of the tension leave her as they stood there.

'I wasn't angry. I felt guilty that you were thinking of Tonks and I hadn't thought of Marc,' she mumbled. 'God, am I a bad person? Was I a bad wife? I'm a rotten friend - I'm sleeping with my best friend's husband…'

'No,' Remus said forcefully, looking down at her. 'Maddy, they're gone. They're gone and they aren't coming back. And…I don't want to be sad anymore. Maybe that makes me a bad person or a lousy husband and friend but…I want to feel something other than miserable again. And you made me feel that.'

She gazed up at him and smiled. 'You made me feel that too,' she whispered and Remus smiled too, leaning down and kissing her.

'Now, will you please come back to bed?' he asked, pulling her out the door. 'The night isn't over yet.'

Her smile wavered and she bit her lip. 'Remus, what are we doing here?' she asked with a frown. 'We…we can't start seeing each other…neither of us are ready for that. Are we?'

Remus frowned and stopped moving. 'No,' he agreed. 'I don't think I'm ready to commit to someone again and I don't think you are either. I…I don't want to hurt you, Maddy. Maybe I will if we keep doing this…'

They stared at each other for a minute then Maddy gripped his hand and walked towards his room. 'You know what?' she said, looking over her shoulder as she moved. 'I don't want to do this now. We'll worry about it tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to forget about everything except how damn good you've been making me feel.'

Remus smiled then moved fast, scooping her up into his arms then tossing her onto the bed, enjoying the sound of her laughter. They fell into each other's arms once more then, an hour later, fell asleep: naked, sated and wrapped around each other.

* * *

A loud squeal woke Remus the next morning and he sat up quickly, rubbing at his eyes.

'Be careful, Teddy,' he heard a familiar female voice call then Teddy himself crawled rapidly through the open bedroom door.

He finished waking up fast and turned to look down at the bed beside him only to see it was empty. Relieved he didn't have to explain Maddy's presence in his bed to Andromeda, he bent over the bed and picked up his son who grinned at him and smacked him across the face in greeting.

'Good morning to you too, Teddy Lupin,' he muttered, rubbing his cheek as he stood up, quickly shutting the bedroom door while he dressed.

He carried Teddy out to the kitchen and saw a fully dressed Maddy talking to Andromeda, both women drinking coffee. He tried to stifle the smile that spread across his face when he looked at the blonde, instead greeting Andromeda.

'Morning, Remus,' Andromeda replied, smiling. 'I understand you and Maddyson got into some mischief last night.'

Remus' eyes widened a little and he looked at Maddy in alarm. She wouldn't have told his former mother in law that they'd slept together. Would she?

'Sorry,' she said with a smile. 'I let it slip what we got up to last night.'

He frowned and she grinned. 'We're adults, Remus,' she said with a chuckle. 'We're allowed to get a little drunk sometimes.'

She raised an eyebrow, trying to hide her cheeky smile. He chuckled and shook his head at her, already plotting his revenge.

'Something involving us both being naked preferably…' he thought lasciviously.

She handed him a coffee and he smiled at her, murmuring a thank you then handing Teddy over to her.

'Hello, beautiful boy,' she cooed, holding him up in the air over her head.

Teddy grinned down at her, giggling and Remus sat down, smiling affectionately as he watched them play together. Maddy was never afraid to let loose with the ten month old, crawling around the floor chasing each other; making silly faces and noises; pretending to bite his belly while he giggled uncontrollably and curled his hands in her hair. The little boy adored his 'Aunt Maddy' and Remus was concerned about how he was going to take her moving out.

But for now, the little boy was happy, trying to hold back his yawns as he and Maddy sat on the kitchen floor, Maddy chanting a rhyme, drawing circles on his hand then tickling him under his arm. Remus watched them with a smile, sipping at his hot drink.

He didn't see Andromeda frowning at him then look over to Maddy, putting two and two together.

'I should go,' she said after a few minutes, standing up. 'Remus, would you walk me out?'

Remus tore his eyes away from Maddy and his son and nodded. Maddy said goodbye then walked down the hall to put a complaining Teddy to bed for his morning nap. The second the front door closed behind them, Andromeda turned on him.

'Are you sleeping with her?' she asked aggressively and Remus took a step back.

'What?' he said, wondering if it was really that obvious.

'You and Maddyson,' she snapped. 'Are you sleeping together?'

He clenched his jaw and said, 'If we were, it would be none of your business, Andromeda.'

'My grandson is my business,' she retorted. 'Dora has been gone only six months and you and her supposed best friend jump into bed with each other. Or was it going on before she died? It disgusting, Remus. But then, you never really loved my daughter. She was a convenient body for you, wasn't she?'

'How dare you?' he whispered, shaking with anger now. 'I loved Tonks. I was faithful to her and I wish that she were still here. But she isn't. How long do I have to be miserable for before you're satisfied that I loved her enough? A year? Two? The rest of my life?'

'I don't expect you to jump into bed with the first warm body you find,' she screeched and Remus heard Maddy step out onto the porch behind him.

'Andromeda,' she said firmly. 'Remus and I are not a couple; we aren't dating. I'm moving out now he doesn't need help anymore. But the fact is that one day, he is going to move on with someone else. Do you really think Tonks would have wanted him to be so miserable for the rest of his life? To be alone? You know as well as I do she would want him to be happy.'

She stepped closer and her face hardened a little. 'And I am offended that you would suggest I would cheat on my husband. You don't know me nearly well enough to make such an accusation.'

Andromeda backed off in the face of Maddy's obvious anger and blinked several times. 'I…I'm sorry,' she said haltingly. 'I just…I miss her. And it looked like you were already moving on…'

'Even if Maddy and I were together; even if I did find someone else, it doesn't take away what I felt for Tonks,' Remus said gently. 'Or what Maddy felt for Marc. But neither of them are here…and I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. And I don't want Maddy to be alone either. Whether we like it or not, we survived. And I for one, refuse to spend my life pretending I didn't.'


	6. Chapter 6

**Hope you enjoy this chapter...**

* * *

Chapter Five

'Thanks,' he muttered as they went back inside after Andromeda disapparated.

'I wasn't going to let her suggest we were unfaithful to Tonks and Marc,' she said, still angry with the woman.

Remus watched her move around the kitchen, flicking her wand at dirty pots and dishes. They cleaned themselves then leapt back into the cupboard quickly. He didn't blame them for getting out of the way: Maddy looked like she was about to explode.

'Maddy,' he began but she interrupted.

'Who the hell does she think she is?' she snapped furiously, using her wand to slam cupboard doors shut. 'To suggest that we were cheating on them. And what does she expect you to do? Stay alone for your whole life to prove you loved Tonks? It's as if she didn't know her daughter at all!'

'Maddy,' he said again, coming forward to put his hands on her shoulders. 'Stop.'

She spun around and he saw her face - angry, offended and…guilty.

'We haven't done anything wrong, Maddy,' he told her firmly. 'We aren't cheating on them. They're gone.'

She took a deep breath then closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against his chest. 'I know,' she muttered, anger gone now. 'But hearing her talk like that…'

'Made you think we were doing something wrong last night,' he finished, lowering his head to hers and pressing a kiss to her hair. 'We weren't. It was amazing, Maddy and it didn't feel wrong. It wasn't wrong.'

She lifted her head and gazed at him. 'It wasn't right either,' she said softly. 'Neither of us want a relationship now. Last night was about frustration and…proximity. We've been spending so much time together….everyone saw this coming.'

'You think I would have slept with anyone I was close to last night?' he asked, a bit offended. 'Just to get my leg over?'

'Are you saying you weren't horny and I wasn't convenient?' she retorted and he frowned, dropping his hands.

'You didn't resist too hard, Maddy,' he said, his tone chilly. 'Did you jump into bed with me because you needed a fuck and anyone would have done?'

He saw the hurt on her face before she could hide it and was immediately sorry.

'God,' he muttered, rubbing his face. 'Maddy, I'm sorry. I know what a big step you took last night and how much you must trust me to have let me make love to you. I didn't mean what I said.'

She bit her lip and shook her head. 'Neither did I,' she said, regretfully. 'Sorry. I guess she really rubbed me the wrong way.'

'She can do that,' he agreed and Maddy smiled. His chest tightened and he couldn't help smiling as well.

'Last night wasn't a mistake. It wasn't me trying to replace Marc,' she said softly. 'I'm ashamed to admit my husband didn't enter my mind at all. You're my friend, a wonderful friend, I…I'm attracted to you and we have incredible, mind blowing sex together but I'm not ready for another relationship. Even if I was, I'm not sure that anything more between us is a good idea anyway. It'd be too strange for everyone - seeing us together like that.'

He murmured an agreement then frowned slightly as he gazed at her. 'Maddy, I'm not ready for a relationship either,' he said quietly. 'But…I'm very attracted to you as well and I don't want last night to be a one off. I felt…alive. I feel alive when I'm with you and I want to feel that again. But if this is going to hurt you; if it's going to hurt us, our friendship, I don't want to do it. I need you in my life, Maddy. I don't want to do anything that's going to make that impossible.'

Maddy looked at him then smiled. 'Most guys would've gone for the sex and blown off the friendship. You are a pretty incredible man, you know,' she said softly and he grinned.

'So you said,' he teased, sliding a hand over her waist, his fingers curving over her hip. ''Incredible and mind blowing sex, wasn't it? That's a pretty high rating. Hard to sustain but I'll give it my best shot.'

'Sustain?' she repeated, feeling a fire beginning to spark inside her. 'So…we're going to do that again?'

Remus' eyes moved to her lips and, as an answer, he bent and pressed his mouth to hers, gently gripping her chin and tilting her face to his so he had better access.

* * *

It started as a soft kiss - a sweet caress that grew and blossomed as the heat built inside them. He curved his hand over her cheek, cupping her face as he deepened the kiss. He could feel his knees trembling as their mouths tasted each other and he clutched an equally as shaky Maddy close to him. Moulding her body to his still didn't bring her close enough and he turned them, lifting her so she could sit on the kitchen table behind them. His tongue became more demanding, making broad sweeps as he pillaged her mouth, drawing an equally as hungry response from her.

Their need was growing but, despite their desperation, the kiss remained sweet and tender. He slipped his hands under her knees, parting her legs and sliding between them, pressing their denim covered lower bodies together. His hands wandered, running up her thighs and spreading over her lush ass, buoying her so her hot sex was in more direct contact with his hard length. Their simultaneous moans at the insistent pressing together sent vibrations shooting from their lips right through their bodies, coming to rest low in their bellies. Ragged breathing and soft, involuntary noises of pleasure were the only sounds in the room, both of them completely lost in each other as the friction between their bodies drove them higher. It wasn't until Maddy felt his slightly roughened hands sliding over the bare skin of her back that some sparks of common sense went off in her mind. She tore her lips from his, hearing his disgruntled groan.

'Teddy,' she whispered hoarsely but he shook his head.

'He's asleep, isn't he?' he said, his voice rough as he moved his lips to her neck.

'I don't know,' she said and he raised his head, eyes dark with desire.

'Come on,' he said, pulling her to her feet. 'We can check on the way to my room.'

She hesitated and he stopped. 'Maddy, if you don't want to…'

'No. I _do_ want to,' she admitted reluctantly with a sigh.

'Try and get a little more enthusiastic, please,' he teased, pretending to be in a huff. 'My ego is pretty fragile.'

Maddy giggled and led him to his room, checking that Teddy was asleep first. 'I'm just not sure that this is the smartest thing we could be doing,' she murmured as he closed and locked his bedroom door.

He stood in front of her and ran his hands over her head, stopping at the back of her neck. 'Maddy,' he said softly, running his thumbs over her jaw. 'This could be the smartest thing we could do right now. It could be the dumbest. All I'm sure of is that I have a great time when I'm with you; I have had the most spectacular sex of my life with you and that you are the only woman in my head right now.'

Maddy smiled then fisted his shirt in her small hands and pulled him back towards the bed. 'Are you going to talk all day or are we going to do this before your son wakes up?' she said and he grinned, falling onto the bed with her.

He yanked her t-shirt off as her fingers fumbled with his buttons, tugging the shirt off his shoulders. Maddy pushed him back onto the mattress and, as he scrambled to undo her bra, she leaned over and pressed kisses to his chest before sucking a small, hard nipple into her mouth.

'Jesus,' he cursed, pulling the bra off roughly.

All the seduction; all the sensuality of their earlier kiss had been exchanged for a more urgent, demanding need that made them move with haste, almost tearing their clothing in their desperation.

He felt her hands working on his zipper and slid his own down to her fly, hooking his fingers under the waistband and helping her strip them and her knickers down her legs. Pushing her legs apart, his fingers slid into her hot, slick tunnel and he moaned just as she did. Straddling his leg, she rode his fingers for a few moments then stopped as she balanced on the edge of release.

'Shit, this time it's me who can't wait,' she muttered against his lips, shifting so she could yank his pants down far enough to release his cock. Remus made a desperate noise when her hand curled around him and squeezed.

A surge of lust ripped through him, making him almost dizzy with its intensity, and he sat up, grabbing her around the waist and throwing her down on the bed as he rolled over her. He tugged his pants off quickly then kissed her hard and fast.

'Remus,' she begged, wantonly parting her thighs as far as she could and he growled, both the man and the wolf inside intoxicated with her scent and excited beyond reason with her ready acquiescence.

He plunged into her, driving deep. Maddy groaned and arched up to meet him. Remus hooked his arms under her knees, throwing her legs over his shoulders as he pumped his hips with an abandon that he had never experienced. Lust, pure carnal lust, drove them both and it didn't take many of those deep thrusts to have Maddy come undone all around him, her muscles choking his cock and drawing an equally powerful orgasm from him.

They both tried unsuccessfully to muffle their loud cries against each other's mouths, lips and teeth clashing as they rode out their releases together. Remus fell onto her with a loud, 'Fuck!', their sweat slicked bodies sliding together as they tried to slow their breathing. Their racing hearts thumped almost in tandem as they lay entwined, breathless and stunned by the intensity of their responses to each other.

'Wow,' she muttered several minutes later once she'd caught her breath.

Remus let out a bark of laughter then kissed her neck before he rolled off her. 'Wow is not a big enough word,' he said, turning her head to look at her. 'I don't think a word exists to describe what we just did.'

Maddy giggled and rolled onto her side to look at him thoughtfully. 'After I move out, we are going to have trouble finding opportunities to do this.'

Remus rolled over to mirror her pose and smiled. 'You want to keep doing this?' he asked, delighted when she nodded, shivering when his hand moved up her body, tracing her soft curves.

'No one's ever made me explode like that before,' she admitted, then bit her lip. 'You know…Muggles have this term - 'friends with benefits'?'

'Friends with benefits?' he said with an arched eyebrow as his hand splayed across her stomach. 'Benefits as in…?'

'As in sex,' she said, turning a little pink and fixing her eyes on his chest. 'We stay friends - no relationship, no ties, no demands, but we have sex if the mood strikes.'

Remus stared at her for a moment then a smile spread across his face. 'You want to be my 'friend', Maddy?' he said mischievously, watching her turn a deeper shade of red now.

'If you don't like the idea…' she began, sitting up.

He sat up quickly also and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down on top of him. 'I think it's the best idea I've ever heard,' he murmured, kissing her again. 'Do you really think we can do this?'

She shrugged and kissed his neck. 'If one of us gets uncomfortable or…meets someone, we can stop,' she said, frowning a little when she felt a stab of pain in her chest at the thought of Remus doing this with someone else.

Remus too, was unsettled by how much her words bothered him. Was she thinking about starting to date?

A hollow feeling made his chest hurt and he hugged her closer to try ease the ache. A little moan escaped him as her lips moved down his throat, her tongue licking his salty skin. Just as her mouth reached his sternum they both heard Teddy call out. Remus groaned loudly in frustration and Maddy laughed, rising to kiss him on the lips.

'Sorry,' she said and he grinned.

'I think sex as a single parent is going to be much more complicated than I anticipated,' he said, giving her one last kiss then getting out of bed, pulling his clothes on quickly.

Maddy looked at him with a strange look on her face. 'What?' he asked and she shrugged, standing up and stretching, oblivious to his admiring gaze.

'That's the first time I've heard you call yourself a single parent,' she said and he stopped buttoning up his shirt.

'I did, didn't I?' he said. 'Well, I guess that's what I am now.'

He walked over to the door and went to get Teddy, changing him then helping him walk out to the kitchen to join Maddy who was fixing something for them to eat.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, she put down the newspaper. 'I think I've found something,' she told him, handing him the paper and stabbing her finger at an advertisement. 'A Muggle apartment in London. Rent's reasonable. It's furnished. Shorter apparition to work when I go back...'

'No friend in the next room,' he added with a frown, looking at the ad then at her. 'Maddy, you don't have to go…'

'Oh, I think I do,' she said, taking the paper back. 'If we do this…thing… and we're living together, the chances of it getting complicated are pretty high. And…I feel ready. You fucked some independence back into me.'

'Maddy!' he admonished, looking around for Teddy even as he tried to hide his smile.

'I checked,' she said. 'He's playing in the living room. I can see him from here.'

He allowed his smile to spread across his face. 'I'm even better than I thought…fucked some independence into you, huh?' and she giggled at him.

'Wouldn't it be nice to have a child free place to, um, be friends?' she said in a wheedling tone.

'Yeah, I suppose,' he mumbled, chewing on his lip. 'But…well, I can't sneak you into my room at night if you're in London.'

'You can bring a date home though,' she said softly, hearing the slight catch in her voice. 'Without the female roommate you're screwing occasionally getting in the way. It'd be too complicated if I stayed, Remus.'

Remus looked at her with a frown. He'd heard the break in her voice. 'Maddy, if this isn't ok with you…'

'No, it's fine,' she said quickly. 'I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I'm a bit more nervous than I thought about leaving.'

'Then don't go,' he said, moving to crouch beside her. 'Maddy, I don't care what anyone thinks. We know what's going on - that's all that matters. Teddy loves having you here. I love having you here - even if you were to tell me you didn't ever want to have sex again. I like you. Not just your incredibly hot body.'

Maddy laughed and Remus grinned. 'See? Who's going to make you laugh if I'm not with you?' he said. 'Who's going to make me laugh?'

She sighed, looking down at him. He could see she was wavering and decided that maybe all she needed was a reminder of what she'd be missing if she left. Rising, he leaned over and kissed her. Long, slow and deep, making love to her mouth, until they were both breathless and so fucking hot again that they wanted to fall onto the floor and sink into each other.

Remus eventually pulled away, looking down at her with a little frown. Half way through the kiss, he'd realised he'd made a tactical error. That kiss had a passion and intensity that scared the absolute shit out of him and he knew she'd felt the same damn thing. He was pretty sure that the kiss, instead of getting her to stay, may have just helped erase any trace of doubt she'd had about going.

They were both shaking: an emotion had surfaced - one that neither of them were ready to be feeling.

'You're leaving,' he stated as he sank back into his seat, his voice hoarse.

She nodded, clearing her throat. 'I don't think that was what you intended,' she said and he smiled, sitting down before his legs gave out.

'No,' he admitted. 'But…I think I see your point now about things getting…confused and complicated if you're living here and we're sleeping together.'

Maddy nodded and stood up, running her hand affectionately over his head then leaning down to kiss his forehead.

'I'll go check this place is still available. I think the sooner I leave, the better. We aren't ready for this, Remus.'

She straightened up and frowned at the newspaper. 'I wonder if they'll mind seeing me on Boxing Day,' she said, moving away but stopped when Remus held her hand.

'I'll miss having you here, Maddy,' he said softly. 'I'll miss talking to you; having a laugh with you. I'll even miss those godawful pancakes and those bloody romance novels.'

Maddy's jaw tensed as she tried to smile and she blinked away the sudden tears that rose in her eyes.

'I'll miss you too,' she whispered. 'But I'm only an apparition away. And I'll be here for a day or two for every full moon plus I'll be visiting you and Ted all the time and you can visit me.'

She stopped talking then smiled. 'Why was I bothering to move out again?'

Remus laughed and her smile faltered a little as her heart leapt at the sound. 'Now I remember,' she said softly and his smile faded as well.

She kissed him on the lips , unable to stop herself from lingering, then stood up quickly when she saw Teddy crawling into the kitchen. 'I'll be back later.'

He nodded, watching her go then scooped his son up into his lap. 'Just you and me soon, Ted,' he said, bouncing the little boy on his knee. 'Why is that so depressing?'

His son grinned at him and Remus smiled. 'We'll miss Maddy, won't we?' he said, then frowned when he felt his stomach twist painfully.

Maddy wasn't the only one nervous about taking this step apart.

* * *

The apartment was still available and they wanted someone to move in ASAP. Remus frowned when she told him and insisted on seeing it before Maddy signed a contract.

'I'm not a child, Remus,' she grumbled, but took him to the apartment anyway, the landlord giving them a key, telling Maddy to take her time and return it when they were done.

Remus walked around, picking out every small defect. Maddy glared at him then took his hand.

'Come here,' she demanded and took him through to the main bedroom.

'What?' he asked then fell down onto the bed as she shoved him back.

'Big bed,' she whispered, straddling him and leaning down to kiss his neck.

He grinned and reluctantly admitted, 'That _is_ a plus.'

'We should try before we buy,' she suggested, her hand moving down to undo his fly. He grabbed her fingers, taken aback.

'Maddy,' he hissed, trying to ignore the fact that at this very moment blood was leaving his vital organs to fill his cock. 'We can't.'

'Why not?' she asked, looking up at him and wriggling her hand out of his. She leaned forward to kiss him. 'We're alone. Doors locked. I'm not asking for a marathon, Remus.'

She pulled down his zip and grinned. 'Looks like you're not completely averse to the idea,' she teased as she popped his button then manipulated his now hard prick out of his boxers, her hand closing around it and stroking.

He groaned, feeling his reservations fading very quickly, and when her thumb rubbed his precome over the soft head, he gave in.

'Jesus, let's just be quick,' he muttered, sliding his hands under her skirt and yanking her underwear aside.

She giggled then shifted so she could sink down on him. 'God, you are so hard,' she mumbled, taking his length until he was buried to the hilt inside her soft body.

She moved, bracing her hands on his chest as she rode him, sparks quickly catching between them, starting a burn that made them move fast and hard.

'Gods, do you know what you do to me?' he moaned, his fingers gripping her ass as he help her slide over his cock.

'What I do to you? Oh!' she whispered, finding it hard to talk as she was already so close to release. 'You didn't even… touch me and I'm wet f…for you.'

'Christ!' he exclaimed, sitting up and wrapping his arms around her as his lips met hers. Her words had knocked him close to the edge and he desperately wanted to kiss her as they exploded.

'Oh my god,' she gasped harshly against his mouth as she came, harder than she ever had before.

'Fuck, Maddy!' Remus whispered, his voice rough as he grabbed her hips and pulled her down hard onto him, wanting to spill himself so deep inside her that he would become part of her.

* * *

They sat together on the edge of the bed, breathing heavily and both of them trembling. 'Christ, Maddy,' Remus mumbled, kissing her shoulder. He looked at her, holding her head in his hands then kissing her softly. 'We're good at this.'

She chuckled then lowered her head to his shoulder then turning her face into his neck, pressing her lips to the delicate skin there. 'We should clean up and go,' she muttered and he nodded.

'You're taking this place?' he asked and she nodded, sitting up.

'I think I'd better now we've defiled it,' she said and he laughed.

'Well, it's a nice place,' he admitted, making a soft noise in his throat when she stood up, his now soft cock sliding out of her. He tucked himself back into his pants as Maddy ran her wand over herself then him.

'It is,' she agreed. 'I thought I could get a cot and Teddy could spend the night here sometimes if you need a sitter. Although it won't be that long until he's in a bed, I suppose.'

Remus smiled, pleased that she wanted both him and Teddy to remain in her life. 'Good idea,' he said, walking over to her and kissing her on the top of the head. 'So. When do you move in?'

'In the next day or two,' she said. 'The landlord let me look today because he happened to be coming over himself and he wants it rented by New Years.'

They walked back through the apartment, Remus sliding his hand into Maddy's and was pleased when she linked their fingers. They let go when they found the landlord and Maddy signed the contract, both separately surprised at how much the simple little gesture of togetherness meant to them and how disappointed they were at having to break the contact.

* * *

They picked up Teddy from Molly's, Remus chuckling at Maddy's horror when she saw George Weasley with Teddy on his broomstick.

'I can't watch,' she muttered, going into the house.

Bill laughed and Remus sat down on the steps next to him, watching his son squeal in delight as George swooped up a little, making sure he was only a couple of feet off the ground.

'Have you thought about what we talked about yesterday?' he asked him and Remus sighed.

'You and your mother drove Maddy away, you know,' he said and Bill looked horrified.

'What?' he gasped and Remus nodded.

'She's moving out tomorrow,' he told him and Bill looked shocked.

'I didn't think it'd happen so quickly,' he stammered. 'God, Remus. We didn't expect her to move out straight away… Are you alright?'

Remus smiled and nodded again. 'I'm fine,' he assured his friend. 'Maddy and I…we talked and we've sorted some stuff out that needed dealing with. We'll still see each other all the time and…it's probably better this way.'

Bill looked closely at Remus and frowned. 'You were pretty upset about this yesterday,' he said, watching the brown haired man for his reaction. 'What changed overnight?'

Remus felt his face going pink and hoped Bill didn't notice. 'I told you,' he said, hastily. 'We talked - properly - about what we wanted.'

'You had sex,' Bill said abruptly and Remus felt his face redden further.

'Get your mind out of the gutter,' he muttered but Bill could see he was right.

'You slept with Maddy?' he hissed and Remus frowned, looking around to see if anyone was nearby.

'Bill, shut up,' he snapped, not sure he wanted to talk about this with anyone.

'Do you think this is a good idea?' the other man asked, lowering his voice.

'I don't know,' Remus admitted. 'But…it's just sex. That's all. We stay friends - who just happen to sleep with each other when the mood hits.'

'There is no way you are going to be able to do that, Remus,' Bill said with a frown. 'You aren't the type that can just walk in, do your thing and go. Especially not with Maddy. You two are already too close to just have casual sex.'

'There's nothing casual about the sex we have,' Remus murmured and Bill slowly grinned.

'Good, huh?' he said with a chuckle.

Remus shook his head and he let out a breath of laughter. 'I think mind blowing is putting it mildly,' he confided and Bill looked impressed.

'Really?' he said, turning to look into the kitchen window, seeing Maddy talking to his wife, Fleur. 'She's pretty hot. Almost as hot as Fleur. She's got that same sort of look - you know, stuns every male within ten feet of her. Do you know if she's got any Veela blood in her family?'

'I don't know,' Remus said, turning to look as well. 'She's striking enough. I was pretty stunned when we first met. Tonks said most men do go a bit strange when they meet her.'

Bill turned back around and looked at Remus who was still staring at Maddy.

'You've both had a big loss this year, Remus,' he said gently, seeing the affection in his friend's eyes as he watched the woman. 'Do you think you could be setting yourselves up for another fall? What happens if she meets someone she wants more than sex with and, let's face it, it's probably going to happen when she starts dating. I mean, she's gorgeous. She's going to have men all over her…'

'Yes, alright,' Remus said, a little too loudly. He lowered his voice. 'I'm aware of how attractive Maddy is. I don't need to hear about how she's going to have men chasing her.'

Bill stared at him, letting him absorb the sound of the resentment and sulkiness in his voice. He saw Remus let out a breath and close his eyes.

'I know,' he said in resignation, knowing Bill was right but he didn't want to stop seeing Maddy. 'I'll take the chance, alright.'

'Just be careful, Remus,' he said softly. 'I don't want to see either of you hurt again.'


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six

'Shh! Don't, Remus. He'll wake up,' Maddy hissed, trying to stop her own laughter as a laughing Remus rolled them over and nuzzled his face into her ribs.

'You think I'm going to let your attack go unpunished?' he mumbled against her skin, tickling her. 'It's your turn now.'

He blew a raspberry on her stomach and she giggled. He did it again and she smacked his shoulder.

'Cut it out!' she laughed and he chuckled, kissing her stomach instead this time, tracing his tongue along a scar near her hip.

They had gone to bed a minute after Teddy had fallen asleep and had quickly shed their clothes. There was no urgency tonight, their desperate need for each other sated somewhat by the two encounters they'd had already that day. They played instead: talking, kissing and teasing each other.

She sighed now and closed her eyes, feeling an ache beginning inside her as his tongue lavished attention on each scar the Death Eaters had given her. The ache wasn't just physical need; and it was that other need, the emotional need, that bought tears to her eyes that she rapidly blinked away.

His mouth moved to the scar on her leg, kissing along the length of it before pushing her legs apart and shifting between them. He wanted to taste her; he could smell her, smell how aroused she was and his need to bury his face in her was bordering on desperation.

'Remus,' she murmured, putting a hand on his head to stop him.

He pressed his face into her thigh, trying to hide his disappointment then kissed up her body to her mouth.

'I want to so badly, Maddy,' he whispered, kissing her lips. 'Why are you stopping me? I've been told I'm pretty good…'

She frowned, chewing on her lip. 'It's so intimate,' she said softly. 'I…I've only ever let Marc do that to me and only after I knew I loved him. I'm sorry, Remus. I just can't. Not yet.'

He was surprised by how hurt he was that she wouldn't let him be as intimate with her as her husband had been.

'I've got no right to expect her to allow me to be so personal,' he told himself. 'This is casual. This is sex.'

'That's alright,' he said softly, touching her face. 'I'll take whatever you're willing to give me, Maddy.'

Her chest tightened and she felt teary again. He kissed her softly then, as it grew, their mouths and hands ran over each other. When they were breathless, Remus slowly slid inside her, closing his eyes at the sensation of her soft body surrounding his. He leaned over and kissed her as he began to rock into her, Maddy moving with him. Their lips moved on each other in sync with their bodies but then Remus pulled away, watching her face as she began to fall.

'Remus,' she whispered, biting her lip. 'Don't.'

'I want to see you,' he told her hoarsely. 'Let go, baby. Let me see you come.'

His words made her groan and her head fell back as she came, crying out his name as her body tightened around his and she shook with the force of her climax.

'Jesus, Maddy, you're beautiful,' he whispered then he couldn't talk anymore as his own release struck him, strong and breath taking, making him shudder hard and moan her name.

He fell onto her, shifting a little so he wasn't too heavy. He didn't want to break their connection; that skin on skin contact. Burying his face in her neck, he felt her pulse beginning to slow and kissed the delicate skin there, feeling Maddy shiver. Her arms were around him and he felt her fingers tracing a long scar on his back. He slid his arms underneath her, wanting to hold her.

'Roll over,' she murmured softly and he obeyed, rolling the both of them onto their sides. Maddy shifted closer, nuzzling her face into his chest, kissing the skin lightly as he put his arms more comfortably around her.

They lay in silence for a long time, both feeling a little overwhelmed. Whatever it was that had just happened between them, it wasn't just sex. And there was nothing casual about the way they were feeling now.

'I shouldn't stay here,' Maddy muttered eventually, lips brushing over his chest. 'I should go back to my own room.'

Remus made a noise and shook his head, lowering it to kiss the top of hers. 'Stay,' he insisted, tightening his grip on her, one arm wrapped around her back, the other sliding down to keep her hips close to his.

'Teddy…' she began but he interrupted.

'Will sleep through probably,' he said. 'And if he doesn't, I'll go to him. He won't know you're in here.'

There was another moment of silence then he said quietly, 'But if you don't want to stay, that's alright. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.'

'I'm quite comfortable actually,' she smiled, sliding a leg over his hip and wrapping it around his legs. 'And I want to stay.'

Maddy hesitated then added, 'I'm just not sure I should.'

He knew what she meant. Whatever it was that had emerged between them needed returning from where it came.

'I think I'm moving out just in time,' she murmured and Remus smiled.

She was right - they weren't ready for a live in lover situation. The emotions that were surfacing now were not feelings they were ready to deal with or to even acknowledge.

'We've spent so much time together,' he mumbled, dragging his fingers through her hair. 'That's all it is. Once we've got a bit of space…we'll be back to normal.'

He felt rather than heard her murmur of agreement and they were silent again, Remus stroking her hair, watching the blonde strands flow through his fingers.

'How is it women's hair is always so soft?' he muttered a few minutes later.

Maddy chuckled and lifted her head, looking at him for the first time. 'Rinse and repeat,' she told him. 'Lots of conditioner.'

He smiled and rolled onto his back, dragging her onto his chest. 'Soft skin too,' he muttered, running his hands down her back. 'And you smell so good.'

Maddy giggled, resting her hands on his chest and looking up at him. 'You don't smell so bad yourself,' she said softly.

She reached down and took a hand, bringing it to her mouth. 'You have nice hands. Strong. Gentle.'

She kissed each finger then pressed her lips to his palm.

Remus felt a ache in his chest that had nothing to do with lust and he frowned until she looked up at him. Smiling at her, he pulled her higher so her face was opposite his. 'You're an amazing woman, Maddyson Horton,' he said softly, cupping her head in his hands. 'You're going to make some man very, very happy one day soon.'

He kissed her gently, missing the frown that creased her brow as he tried to ease the ache in his own heart at the thought of Maddy loving another man.

'Sex,' he told himself firmly. 'Friends with benefits.' He pressed his lips to her forehead. 'Why do I have to keep reminding myself? Convincing myself?'

Maddy rested her head on his shoulder and curved her body around his. 'I think I will stay,' she murmured, wanting a last night with him all to herself. 'Night, Remus.'

'Night, Maddy,' he whispered, kissing the top of her head again, breathing in the scent of her hair.

* * *

It took them both a while to drift off and Remus didn't know what time it was that he woke, but it was still dark, and he was by himself. He sat up, wondering if she'd gone back to her own room after all. Biting his lip, he hesitated for a moment before getting out of bed, pulling his boxers on before opening the bedroom door. He heard soft murmuring coming from Teddy's room. Moving quietly, he stopped just outside the slightly open door and peeked inside, heart leaping when he saw Maddy. She was wrapped in his robe, sitting in the rocking chair that Tonks used to rock Teddy in and holding the little boy who was looking sleepy, patting her face with a chubby hand. She was talking softly to him as she gently rocked.

'Then your mum tried to sit down, but her pants split and I had to wrap my jumper around her so we could get home without anyone seeing her knickers,' she said softly, smiling down at him.

Remus smiled too, recalling the day she was talking about. She'd taken Tonks to buy maternity clothes, trying to convince her that hers were getting too tight. Tonks' pants split when they sat down to eat and they'd come home with an armful of larger sized clothes, Maddy telling him the story, both of them crying with laughter as Tonks glared at them.

'She was a laugh - your mum,' Maddy said, seeing the little boys' eyes closing again. 'I wish you'd gotten to know her. I wish she'd gotten to know you. But you've still got your daddy and you are a very lucky boy because he's the best daddy in the world.'

She sighed and saw he was asleep. 'He's a wonderful man. Your mummy was a very lucky lady.'

Remus blinked rapidly to try and clear the tears from his eyes. He saw Maddy stand up and lower Teddy carefully back into his cot then gently try to extract her finger from his grip. Quietly, he moved back to his room, pulling off his boxers again and sliding under the sheet.

'Bill was right,' he thought, clearing his suddenly tight throat. 'I need to be more careful or this could get very complicated.'

His door opened with an almost inaudible squeak and a moment later, he felt the bed dip beside him. He turned his head and saw Maddy curled up on the other side of the bed. He tried to resist the urge to roll over and hold her but it was uncontrollable. He shifted, wrapping his arm around her and curving his body to fit against hers.

'Hi,' he said softly and she turned her head to smile at him.

'Sorry,' she whispered. 'I didn't mean to wake you. I was just settling Teddy.'

'You didn't wake me,' he murmured, kissing her now bare shoulder then brushing her hair out of the way to kiss her neck.

Maddy made a soft noise in her throat and moved an arm back to wrap around him, holding him closer. He felt his cock coming back to life as it rubbed against her ass and his hand moved down to stroke her clit, sliding one of his legs between hers to give him better access. She moaned and rubbed her ass over his rapidly hardening prick , their breathing speeding up.

'Jesus, Remus,' she groaned, pushing her hips back and forth, helping him stimulate her further. 'That feels so damn good.'

Her own hand left his ass and slipped between them, wrapping around his erection and stroking in time with his hands' movements.

'Maddy,' he whispered, his finger sliding into her body. 'I want to be inside you.'

'Yes,' she moaned, lifting her leg higher. 'Now. Please?'

He shifted so the tip of his erection was nudging her entrance then slowly pushed into her hot, tight body.

'Maddy,' he gasped softly. 'God, you take my breath away every time.'

She shivered in his arms then moaned as he moved, driving deep. His finger continued to swirl around her clit as he pumped slowly in and out of her.

'You're going to kill me,' she whispered, pushing herself back hard.

'Keep doing that and it'll be like our first time all over again,' he groaned, his thrusts becoming faster and more erratic. 'I won't last another second and you'll be left hanging.'

He thrust a little harder, lowering his head to bite her neck lightly. 'Fuck, do that again,' she swore and he did, scraping his teeth over her skin as he flicked her clit and she bit her lip hard to stifle her scream as she came, her arm flying back to grip his ass, fingernails digging in.

The sharp pain along with her bodies spasms made Remus explode, unable to completely muffle his own loud cry of pleasure as he let himself go inside her.

Taking several moments to pull himself together, Remus clenched his eyes tight, emotion threatening to overwhelm him.

'Jesus, I'm falling for her,' he thought despairingly. 'Snap out of it, Remus. It's incredible sex…'

But he knew it was more than that. It had always been more than that. He trusted Maddy. She trusted him. They couldn't be doing this with anyone else.

'I shouldn't be doing it with her. Bill was right. I can't keep this casual.'

Maddy turned over, her own eyes betrayed her conflict. 'We can't do this,' she said and Remus let out a breath of ironic laughter.

'How is it you always know what I'm thinking?' he grumbled, touching her face. He frowned, noticing her lip was bleeding.

'Maddy, you're bleeding,' he said, reaching for his wand.

He pointed it at her mouth and muttered a healing spell, seeing the wound close. Throwing his wand at the bedside table, he cupped her face, checking to make sure the bleeding had stopped.

'I bit my lip, honey,' she told him, amused and touched that he was so concerned. 'I'm sure I'll be fine.'

Remus looked up from her mouth to her eyes and smiled self consciously. 'Sorry,' he said with a shrug. 'Forgot you were a Healer.'

'I've nearly forgotten I was a Healer,' she muttered, brushing his hair off his face. 'I've been thinking it might be time to go back to work. Not at the hospital though - I'm ready for a change. Maybe private practice. I've got some money. Marc had insurance and they paid me when he died. I always told him I'd like to have my own practice one day. Perhaps now is a good time to really think about that.'

'Now is a great time to do it,' he said enthusiastically, even as he couldn't help noticing that there was no sign of pain in her voice or face when she mentioned her husband. 'You're a fantastic Healer, Maddy. You'd do great wherever you went.'

Maddy smiled broadly and turned a little pink in the moonlight. 'Thanks,' she said softly. They were silent for a moment then Remus asked, 'Did you call me honey before?'

She looked startled and frowned as she tried to remember. 'I…I don't know. Did I?' she stammered, looking at him. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable..'

'You didn't,' he said quickly. 'I don't mind.'

They stared at each other. 'Once I've moved out, things won't seem so intense,' she told him, a vulnerable look in her eyes. 'I love being with you, Remus and I know things are getting a bit…complicated but I think once we aren't together all the time, the intensity will fade.'

'You think?' he asked hopefully.

'I hope so,' she said with a smile. 'I don't want to stop this. This…this is incredible.'

Remus grinned and pulled her closer. 'Yes it is,' he murmured, kissing her.

* * *

The next morning, Remus dropped Teddy at Andromeda's so he could help Maddy move her meagre belongings to her new apartment. While she unpacked her clothes, he pulled out the bits and pieces she'd taken from the house she shared with her husband. Knick knacks, books and photographs. He pulled out a framed one of Maddy and Tonks, frowning a little.

'Is it terrible that I'm doing this?' he wondered. 'Sleeping with my wife's best friend?'

He hadn't once felt like this was wrong. Complicated - yes. Dangerous - yes. But never wrong. As he gazed down at the face of his smiling and waving wife, he didn't feel guilty.

'I don't think you'd mind,' he mumbled. 'Maddy's a good person and you loved her. You wanted her to be in Teddy's life; in my life because you made her his godmother.'

He put the photo on a shelf, pulling out a few that were obviously a younger Maddy with her parents, one of Maddy holding Teddy with Harry and Remus, then saw a wedding photo. Maddy and Marc. He pulled it out, looking at the black haired man who was laughing and pulling his wife closer, kissing her on the cheek. He and Marc hadn't been particularly close but he'd liked the man and they got along well enough to entertain themselves when their wives were involved in their own conversations. Maddy looked just glorious in white, her face glowing with happiness. Wincing at the horrible, hollow feeling in his chest, he put the photo on the shelf along with the others. He frowned as he watched the couple in the photo kiss, hating himself for being jealous of a dead man.

'Done!' Maddy exclaimed as she came out of the bedroom, blowing the hair off her face with a sharp exhale. 'I've got a bag to give to charity - I don't need that many clothes and I can't really fit them into m….'

Her voice trailed off when she saw the photo's on the shelf. Moving closer, she stared at them.

'Are they alright there?' he asked, swallowing hard when he heard how choked his voice sounded.

Maddy nodded absently, still looking at the pictures. Suddenly, she reached out and took down the one of her and Marc and put it in the drawer of a sideboard. She looked at Remus, biting her lip.

'This is a fresh start,' she explained. 'I want to remember him but I want to move on - and I can't do that if I have photos of him everywhere.'

Remus was startled to realise how happy he was that she was thinking that. 'She's not moving on with you, Moony,' he told himself. 'Someone else's photo will be up there.'

They went to a nearby café for a quiet lunch then went back to her flat. 'Are you coming in?' she asked when he hesitated.

'Is that alright?' he said and she grinned.

'What do you think?' she said, grabbing his hands and pulling him through the doorway. Their lips met and they stumbled to the couch, pulling each other's clothes off.

'God, I love your ass,' he mumbled, hands cupping it as soon as her knickers hit the ground.

'Really?' she said, amused. She knelt on the couch, leaning against the back of it and wriggled her ass at him. 'Look all you like while you have at it, honey.'

Remus laughed and smacked her bare cheek, making her gasp then giggle.

'Ooh,' she said breathily. 'I like that.'

He smiled a wicked smile, pushing her legs further apart then pressed his hard cock between them. She pushed back and he groaned, guiding his erection into her soft, wet body. He plunged without reserve into her then, when he felt her tighten around him, he slapped her ass again, making her swear loudly and come hard around his cock. Her release was so strong, she forced him to suddenly climax as well, surprised by how quickly he gave in.

'Oh my god,' Maddy muttered, hanging over the back of the couch, Remus leaning heavily on her. 'I never realised I was a masochist.'

He chuckled, kissing her shoulder. 'You're a kinky thing,' he teased and she shifted, turning to sit on the couch, Remus falling down next to her.

'You were the one doing the slapping,' she retorted, poking him in the ribs.

He laughed and drew her closer, wrapping his arms around her as he fell back onto the couch. 'I didn't hurt you, did I?' he asked more seriously.

Maddy looked up at him and shook her head. 'That was incredible,' she assured him with a smile. 'I've never done that kind of thing before.'

'Neither have I,' he said softly. 'But I'll do it again. Or maybe…'

'Maybe I could slap your ass next time,' she finished, grinning at him.

He nodded and kissed her, holding her face. They lay quietly across each other for several minutes then Remus caught sight of the time and groaned. Maddy shifted to look at him.

'Time to go?' she asked and he nodded.

She got to her feet, gathering their clothes and handing his to him as he rose. They dressed and Maddy walked with him to the door.

'This is it then,' he said and she nodded.

'I'll come and see Teddy tomorrow if that's alright,' she said and Remus smiled.

'He'll love that,' he told her. 'So would I.'

Maddy smiled then let out a breath. 'We need to do this, don't we?' she asked suddenly. 'Even though this doesn't feel right, we have to do it?'

Remus nodded, reaching out to tuck strands of hair behind her ears then cupped her face.

'I think so,' he said softly, silently agreeing that this felt wrong. 'Maddy, if it doesn't work out, you can come back. You don't have to stay here. Maybe it is too soon.'

Maddy felt her stomach twist painfully and she felt ill. 'Don't be so ridiculous,' she told herself. 'I'll still see him. We'll still get to be together.'

But it wouldn't be the same.

'I'll be fine,' she murmured, taking his hands in hers. 'You'd better go and pick up Teddy.'

Remus nodded, finding it hard to actually move out the door. 'I'll see you tomorrow,' he said then leaned down to kiss her.

It was a tender, gentle kiss that made Maddy ache inside. Pulling away, he smiled.

'See you later, Maddy,' he whispered and Maddy murmured a 'goodnight'.

He turned and walked out the door then stopped when Maddy said his name. When he turned back, she was behind him and threw her arms around his shoulders.

He quickly put his arms around her as well and lifted her off her feet. Her lips met his and they kissed hungrily, Remus pressing her back against the doorjamb. Maddy's legs wrapped around him and they got completely lost in each other for long moments. When they could no longer breath, they finally, reluctantly, pulled apart, not letting go of their hold on the other.

'Well, that's a proper goodbye,' he murmured, trying to catch his breath and Maddy smiled.

'Not goodbye,' she corrected, tightening her legs. 'See you later.'

'Definitely,' he agreed, hands gripping her ass as he kissed her again.

He raised his head after a minute and sighed. 'I know,' she muttered, dropping her legs. 'I'll see you tomorrow.'

'Make it early,' he said, then gave her one last quick kiss. 'Bye, sweetheart.'

He left before he could change his mind, apparating away before he realised he'd called her 'sweetheart'.


	8. Chapter 8

**Jump ahead in time here because, as much as I love writing about their sex lives, there's gotta be angst! Cheers!**

* * *

Chapter Seven

**Two months later**

'Did you really move out or did I imagine that?' Bill asked when Maddy opened the door of Remus' house.

She chuckled and let him in. 'Remus has gone shopping,' she told him. 'I'm watching Teddy.'

She'd stayed over last night and was now babysitting Teddy. Since she'd moved out, Maddy had been spending at least a couple of nights a week at Remus' place, and they saw each other almost every day, ending up in each other's arms most visits. Maddy had quit her job completely, focusing now on trying to work out a business plan to start her own practice. Remus was helping - looking for premises with her and helping her sort out the sale of her and Marc's old house.

Their friends had expressed their concerns again - worried they were headed for heartbreak but, despite their objections, Maddy and Remus became very close. They slept together, ate together, cared for Teddy together - both feeling their 'casual' sexual relationship easing into 'serious' territory but, despite their constant assurances to their friends that it was under control, neither did anything to stop it. Feelings were forced down - and although they'd been talking about it, neither had made any steps to start to date anyone else.

Until now.

'Ahh!' said Bill. 'Food for the big date.'

Maddy froze, staring at Bill with a frown. 'What big date?' she asked and Bill looked guilty.

'Oh, um, it's nothing,' he began, kicking himself but Maddy quickly composed herself.

'Remus has got a date?' she said, closing the door very quietly, trying to focus on anything but the feeling that her insides were being torn out.

She cleared her throat and looked at Bill. 'Well, good for him.'

She waved towards the kitchen then took a shaky breath before following him, cursing her trembling knees.

'You knew this day would come,' she told herself. 'You knew he was going to move on. You should move on too.'

She didn't know whether she was more hurt that he was dating, that he hadn't told her he was dating or that he'd lied to her, telling her he and Teddy were visiting Andromeda tonight.

'So, who's he seeing?' she asked, trying to sound casual as she pointed her wand at the kettle and made it boil and whistle.

'A friend of Fleurs,' Bill said gently, seeing the ill disguised hurt on her face.

Maddy nodded, quickly making two cups of tea. 'Here you go,' she murmured, sitting down next to him.

She sipped at her drink, feeling his gaze on her. 'What?' she asked and he put his mug down.

'Are you alright?' he asked and she frowned.

'Of course I am,' she said with a forced little laugh.

She took a larger gulp of her drink then put it down. 'Are you going to wait for Remus?'

He nodded. 'Yeah, um, we're taking Teddy for the night,' he said hesitantly and saw her face freeze a little.

She stood up, unable to stay here any longer. 'Would you mind keeping an eye on him now then?' she asked hurriedly. 'I forgot I've got an appointment about a job. I was going to owl them and cancel but since you're here…'

He nodded again and Maddy smiled at him. 'Thanks,' she said, gathering her things. 'He's asleep right now and he'll need lunch when he gets up. I've made it - it's in the fridge.'

She kissed his cheek. 'Thanks, Bill. Tell Remus that I'm sorry about the mix up and…I hope he has a good time tonight.'

'Maddy,' he called as she walked to the door. 'I'm sorry.'

She shook her head, pretending she didn't know what he was talking about then a thought struck her.

'Bill, is this the first date he's been on?' she asked but didn't really need to hear his answer. His face said it all.

'Mum set him up with a friend of hers a few weeks ago,' he told her. 'I don't think it went very well. But…this is his second date with Joy.'

'Oh,' she said softly, putting it together.

Second date, he was cooking at his place, Teddy out of the way…she didn't need to be whacked over the head to see the bleeding obvious.

'Thanks for being honest,' she said with a tiny smile.

Bill stepped closer, concerned. He'd knew how close Maddy and Remus had been getting and he and his family had encouraged him to get out and date, fearing he and Maddy would hurt each other. They were concerned that a relationship that began under such intense and painful circumstances could only turn out miserably for everyone.

It looked like it was too late for Maddy though, and when he saw the pain on her suddenly pale face, he felt guilt-ridden that he'd been involved in setting Remus up.

'Maddy, you two…' he began.

'Are too weird,' she finished, nodding. 'My former best friend's husband and all that. Yeah, I know.'

She shrugged, trying to look as though she didn't care. 'I'm just worried the great sex is going to stop.'

'God,' she thought suddenly, wondering if she might actually vomit. 'He's going straight from fucking me last night to a date with someone else. I am such an idiot.'

She mumbled a goodbye, then turned and apparated, missing Remus by seconds.

* * *

'Hey!' he said warily when he saw Bill. 'You're early.'

He felt a little trickle of panic when he saw Bill. He wasn't supposed to be here for another hour.

'Yeah, Fleur wants to take Teddy to the park before dark,' he said, bracing himself to deliver the bad news.

'Where's Maddy?' Remus asked, looking around.

Bill saw the concern in his eyes and sighed. 'I'm sorry, Remus,' he said regretfully. 'I didn't know you hadn't told her.'

Remus' mouth opened and his face fell as he sank to a chair. 'God,' he whispered, his face scrunching up.

He wanted to tell her about the dates himself. Molly had sprung the first one on him, inviting him to dinner than introducing him to 'my friend, Jan, who I ran into today.' Then Fleur set him up on the blind date with Joy, finally talking him into attending. They'd gotten along well and he'd taken the plunge and asked her out again. He'd wanted to tell Maddy but…

'I feel like I've been caught cheating,' he muttered, looking up at Bill.

'You and Maddy agreed to keep your fling sex only,' the red head reminded him. 'There's no reason you should feel guilty. Maddy can date anyone she wants.'

He doubted the thought had even occurred to the woman though. She'd looked pretty distraught earlier.

'How…how did she react?' Remus asked tentatively and Bill saw that he was really agitated.

'Remus, do you want more from Maddy than sex?' he asked and the other man's jaw clenched.

'I don't know,' he admitted. 'I think so. Everything's been so intense... It doesn't matter. We've got an agreement.'

He looked at Bill. 'How did she react, Bill?'

'Honestly?' he said. 'She looked like she was going to be sick. She asked if it was your first date…I didn't lie to her. I think she's a bit upset.'

Remus felt pain shoot through his chest and winced, looking down to try and disguise his reaction. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Maddy but now he'd gone and done it. He felt a little sick himself.

Teddy let out a cry and Remus stood up. 'I'll get his stuff,' he said faintly, wanting some time by himself.

He gave his son a cuddle and changed him, throwing a few extra toys into an overnight bag for him. He wasn't sure why he'd asked Joy out again. Maybe just to prove he could take that step again. More likely to try and shake off the feelings for Maddy that had been getting stronger and stronger; feelings he couldn't share with her. They were so close now - but neither of them felt they were ready to face those kinds of feelings yet. And neither of them had been able to, or willing to, make the break away from the other; whatever it was pulling them together was too strong.

That's why he hadn't told her. He didn't want to lose her, and, even more selfishly, he didn't want to see her with anyone else. If she knew he'd gone out with someone, it might push her to start dating...and he didn't want her to.

'I'm not doing anything wrong,' he kept telling himself. 'So why do I feel like such a shit?'

* * *

**One month later**

'Sorry,' he said to Joy as he pushed himself off her, looking down at her prone on his couch. 'I…I'm just…'

'It's fine, Remus,' the dark haired woman said, smiling at him as she sat up, straightening her shirt. 'I know it's probably going to take a little while for you to not feel like you're cheating on your wife.'

He looked a little startled but nodded. 'Yeah,' he muttered, feeling even more horrible than he already did.

It's not that he wasn't turned on by the brunette - he was. She was lovely - pretty, nice figure, nice person. It wasn't the memory of his wife stopping him from taking their relationship further. It was Maddy.

Every time he closed his eyes and kissed Joy, he compared her to Maddy; wished he was with Maddy. He hadn't seen her in days, and then only briefly as she arrived to collect Teddy to stay with her for the full moon. His decision to start dating had created distance between them - the distance that they thought they wanted.

Maddy had been hurt, Fleur explained to him after talking to the other woman, more by the fact he'd hidden his dates from her, making her doubt their friendship. This is what Maddy had told her anyway, although Fleur suspected there was more to it than that.

They hadn't been together for more than a few minutes since, except for Teddy's birthday party at Molly's and then, Maddy had been pleasant but not normal; not herself with him. Remus was shocked by how much her absence from his life hurt him - realising now that his feelings for her ran a lot deeper than he'd ever allowed himself to admit. He saw Joy out, giving her a quick kiss then sighed as he closed the door.

'I miss her,' he thought, his stomach twisting painfully. 'I really miss her.'

* * *

'Thank you for a lovely night,' Maddy said, smiling at the dark haired man who'd walked her to her door.

'I'd like to take you out again,' he said and she nodded.

'I'd like that too,' she murmured then let him kiss her.

'I'll call you,' he promised and she smiled, watching him leave before unlocking the door and letting herself in.

She sighed, throwing her belongings down. Kyle was a nice enough man but he wasn't going to be a keeper. She stepped on something, making her almost fall over. Bending over, she picked it up - Teddy's toy bear. He'd left it there a few days ago.

'I should take that back to Remus,' she thought, hating that her heart sped up thinking about him.

She'd been pretty cool to him, hurt by his actions but not wanting to let on how affected she was.

'I think it's great that you're dating,' she'd said when he visited her the day after his date to try and explain. 'I'm not sure why you kept it from me or felt the need to lie but good for you. You're moving on.'

They hadn't slept together since - Maddy finding reasons not to visit him if Teddy wasn't there and Remus soon got the message that their "friends with benefits" arrangement was over.

'I miss Remus,' she mumbled, looking at Teddy's toy and feeling a tear escape. Her heart hurt, having recognised too late how she really felt about her friend. 'I miss him so much.'

* * *

**Two months later**

'I miss him, Maddy,' the woman said, staring down at her son's headstone.

'I know, Mary,' the blonde said, putting an arm around her former mother in law. 'I miss him too.'

She _did_ miss Marc and, once her in laws said goodbye, she sank down onto the grass and drew her knees to her chest, letting a few tears fall now she was alone.

'I miss you, sweetheart,' she whispered, sighing. 'I've really stuffed things up. I thought I'd found someone I could love again but…I guess I blew it.'

Remus was still seeing Joy and Maddy was barely in his life anymore. Being around him was too hard; seeing him with another woman almost killed her. She refused to let Teddy go, though, and Remus would leave him with her during the full moon, the adults interactions becoming quite formal as the weeks went by. Maddy's standoffishness was due to her hurt. She missed him like crazy and had been dating voraciously to try and fill the void, not actually meeting anyone she wanted to go out with more than a couple of times - unable to stop herself from comparing them all unfavourably to Remus.

'Hi,' she heard from behind her and she turned around, surprised to see Remus crouching there.

'What are you doing here?' she asked and he gave her a closed mouth smile.

'One year on,' he told her, holding up the flowers he held. 'I wanted to pay my respects…and make sure you were alright today. I've been here a while. I was waiting for Marc's parent's to leave.'

Maddy turned back around, closing her eyes when the scent of his aftershave stirred memories in her. 'I'm fine,' she said softly. 'Thanks for your concern though.'

He came around to sit beside her, laying the flowers on the grave.

'How's Teddy?' she asked and he smiled.

'Fine,' he told her. 'Asking when he can see Aunty Maddy again.'

Maddy smiled. She loved that little boy like he was hers and missed him just as much as she missed his dad.

'How are you coping coming up to the anniversary?' she asked, needing to keep talking. The silences made her want to cry.

'I'm alright,' he said, sounding surprised. 'It's another couple of weeks but…I think I'll be fine. Andromeda's a bit shaky but she's doing better as well. She said to say hi if I saw you here.'

Maddy nodded then said, 'I suppose it helps having someone to lean on. Joy must be a help.'

He glanced over at her, his forehead creased. 'Not really,' he said softly. 'She's getting a bit over the widower thing. She can't work out why I won't sleep with her.'

Maddy frowned, her head snapping towards him. 'You've been dating three months,' she said. 'You haven't…?'

He shook his head, looking down at the ground. 'No,' he admitted. 'I can't. Every time I try, I see you.'

Maddy closed her eyes as tears rose then pushed herself to her feet. 'Thanks for coming today,' she said as he stood as well. 'I appreciate it.'

'Maddy,' he said but she shook her head.

'You've come too far to go back now, Remus,' she said softly, aching for him but not wanting him to turn to her just because he was dissatisfied with his current relationship. She needed more than that from someone now.

'Are you seeing someone?' he asked quickly and she shook her head.

'I'm seeing a lot of someones. I can't seem to find anyone I could get remotely serious about,' she told him.

'Then, could we…?' he began.

'No,' she snapped.

'You don't know what I was going to say,' he said but she shook her head.

'I can't get involved with you, Remus,' she said shakily. 'I can't do that to myself again.'

'Do what?' he said, his heart leaping. 'Maddy?'

'Bye, Remus,' she mumbled, then spun on the spot, apparating away before he could stop her.

* * *

It was two weeks before she saw him again, this time at Tonks' graveside. He was sitting by himself, Andromeda taking Teddy home with her, needing the comfort of her grandchild tonight. She considered coming back later but that felt a bit gutless, so she walked quietly over, intending to say a quick hello, lay her flowers and go.

'Hello, Maddy,' he said softly, not turning.

She was startled and put the flowers down against the headstone. 'How did you know…?' she began and he smiled up at her.

'I could smell your perfume,' he told her. 'I'd know it anywhere. I was waiting for you. I knew you'd come eventually.'

Maddy bit her lip then shoved her hands in her pockets. 'Well, I just wanted to…' she indicated the flowers. 'I'll leave you to it.'

'I broke up with Joy after we spoke two weeks ago,' he told her, standing up. 'And I've been doing a lot of thinking.'

He had - and now was determined to make her listen to him, to make her see that they reason they were so miserable without each other; the reason neither of them could moved on, was because they were supposed to be together. They were meant to be together.

She stared at him then turned away. 'Did I tell you I'm leaving the UK?' she asked quickly, not wanting to hear what he had to say.

It had taken so long to make this decision, she couldn't let him get under her already shaky defences.

He looked stunned and shook his head slowly. 'No,' he whispered.

'I'm going to France,' she told him, unable to look at him any longer. 'I had an offer from the hospital in Paris. Head Healer. It's too good to refuse and…I've got nothing to stay in London for.'

She looked up in time to see the hurt on his face.

She felt a bite of regret then said, 'We've been over for a while, Remus. And we're both getting on with our lives. I'd still like to see Teddy when I can, if that's alright.'

Remus couldn't speak; couldn't breathe. 'She's leaving,' he thought in anguish. 'I'm too late.'

'You…you can't go,' he said shakily. 'Maddy…'He stepped forward and took her hands in his. 'You can't go.'

She closed her eyes, screwing up her face in an effort to stop her tears. 'I have to,' she whispered. 'I'm sorry.'

Tearing her hands from his grasp, she spun, but this time he was ready for her abrupt departure - grabbing hold of her shirt and coming with her.

* * *

She appeared outside her front door, bumping into Remus and nearly losing her balance. He grabbed her arm to stop her falling and pulled her to him.

'What are you doing?' she frowned but before she could say anything else, he grasped her head in his hands and kissed her.

Heat surged inside of both of them and they moaned, Remus deepening the kiss, which became hot and needy. Maddy didn't bother trying to resist, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him just as hungrily back. Remus pressed her up against the closed apartment door, knees weakened by her response.

'How does he do this to me?' was Maddy's last coherent thought, wondering how, effortlessly, he busted down every defence she'd put up to protect herself.

'Inside,' he mumbled. 'Or we'll be doing this in front of everyone.'

Maddy fumbled for her wand then flicked it in the direction of the knob. The door burst open and they stumbled inside.

Even before he kicked the door shut, their clothes were being shed, Maddy's hands fumbling with his belt as his hands shoved her skirt up to her waist. He pushed her against the now closed front door as his fingers slid under her knickers. His pants fell to his ankles and his already weeping cock was suddenly free as his boxers were yanked down roughly. He felt her hand close around his erection and groaned loudly, grasped hold of the front of her knickers and pulling them aside, hearing them tear a little. Maddy lifted her leg and wrapped it around his waist as his hands cupped her ass, and he buoyed her so he could thrust inside her.

'Jesus, Maddy,' he moaned, filling her velvet soft body so perfectly - as if she'd been made for him. 'You are incredible. You are heaven.'

She made a noise in her throat then gasped as he thrust, erratically and fast. No finesse, no rhythm; just pure, unadulterated need. It had been too long; they'd wanted each other too long to make this pretty and in a minute, Maddy bit his lip and called out his name as she came, the spasms shaking her body and making her knees feel weak.

Remus couldn't hold on and yelled 'Maddy' as he spilled himself inside her, wanting to be so deep in her that she would be his forever.


	9. Chapter 9

**Second last Chappie. Thanks to all those who've been reviewing. Love ya!**

* * *

Chapter Eight

_'I love her.'_

Not the first time that thought had flittered across his mind, but it had never hit him with such certainty or conviction as it did now.

Maddy' leg fell from around his and she gently pushed him away. 'How can you do this to me?' she mumbled, flicking her now ruined underwear off her foot. 'This wasn't supposed to happen.'

'Funny,' he murmured, toeing off his shoes. 'It's almost exactly what I've been hoping would happen.'

Maddy glared at him, then opened her mouth to object when he pulled his shirt off, kicking off his fallen pants and boxers at the same time.

'And what do you think you're doing?'

He grinned then gripped the bottom of her shirt, yanking it quickly over her head.

'It_ has_ been a long time, hasn't it?' he teased, throwing the shirt onto the floor then moving his hands to her skirt. 'Let me refresh your memory. I undress you and myself, we move to your bedroom and have the most spectacular sex of our lives. Over and over and over again.'

'We shouldn't do this again,' she tried to say but his thumb brushed over a nipple and her words quickly faded as her breathing faltered.

When she caught her breath again, she said, 'You shouldn't be able to do this. You shouldn't be able to turn me into putty with one touch.'

Her skirt fell to the carpet and Remus ran his hands lightly over her soft curves. 'Why not?' he said softly. 'You do it to me. It seems only fair you suffer the same fate.'

He cupped her face. 'I've missed you so much, Maddy. And not just in my bed. In my life.'

Maddy bit her lip then slid her hands up his arms to grasp his wrists. 'I've missed you too,' she admitted, feeling her chest tighten when he smiled then drew her closer to kiss her.

It was tender, loving and almost painfully sweet, making both of them ache deep down.

He slid his arms around her and held her close as he walked them back to her bedroom, kissing her the whole way. Lowering her to the bed, his lips only left hers to tell her how beautiful she was as his hands stroked over her skin, rediscovering the textures he'd missed more badly than he'd realised. His mouth followed soon after and he drove Maddy slowly insane as he tried to remind her of how very good they were together and silently convince her that she didn't want to give him up again.

Maddy was arching up to his touch, never wanting him to stop. It felt like she was alive again, every part of her on fire. Whatever it was that had been missing over the past few months was back and she was whole again.

'Remus,' she realised. 'It was Remus.'

It was then that she finally acknowledged the thing she'd been pushing away for months; the reason she couldn't find anyone to take his place.

She loved him.

His hand wandered between her legs, fingers sliding into her while both of them groaned at the sensation. Lips moved over her leg, kissing up her thigh. Remus enjoyed the scent of her, waiting for her to stop him. But, as he reached her inner thigh, her legs parted further and she slid her hand into his hair. His heart and cock leaped and he didn't waste a second, stroking his tongue lightly over her clit, both of them moaning in sync. It only took a minute for him to make Maddy explode and cry out as she held his head to her. He groaned, incredibly turned on by the fact she was allowing him to do this and what it meant, and he didn't stop, not when the spasms eased and Maddy's body relaxed a little. It had taken her so long to trust him enough to do this, he wasn't letting her go until she was limp. His talented tongue stroked her back into arousal until she was begging him to let her fall.

Slowly, he ran his tongue back up her body then kissed her as he slid inside her, filling her so completely that he couldn't tell where he ended and she began.

'I belong with her,' he realised. 'I belong to her.'

This is why he couldn't sleep with Joy - he was Maddy's - wholly, utterly Maddy's.

They moved together, slowly, sensuously until they'd driven each other so high there was nowhere to go but over the edge, falling almost simultaneously, arching into each other and moaning into each other's mouths.

When he caught his breath again, he kissed under her ear and murmured, 'Maddy, I..'

'Don't,' she said quickly and he turned his head to look at her.

'Sweetheart,' he began again but she shook her head.

'Please, Remus,' she pleaded. 'Don't.'

He frowned and felt a pain shoot through him. 'Why?' he asked softly, propping himself up over her.

'Because then you'll have to go,' she whispered, her eyes filling. 'And I don't want you to go yet.'

'Why would I have to go?' he asked and saw a tear fall.

'Because I'm leaving,' she told him. 'Because we can't be together. It would hurt Andromeda; it would hurt Marc's parents...'

'What about us?' he asked. 'It's hurting us not to be together.'

Her lip trembled and she looked pained. 'I'm leaving tomorrow,' she said softly. 'Can we just have one more night before I go?'

He frowned and moved away from her, needing a little space between them. 'You're _really_ going?' he said faintly and she nodded.

'I just don't think we can give each other what we need,' she tried to justify. 'I wonder if what we're feeling is real. We are so entwined, Remus. We've never really been apart - we still rely on each other and we deserve more than…safe.'

'My feelings are real, Maddy,' he whispered, turning towards her. 'I'm not confused. I'm not trying to be safe. This is the most dangerous thing I could do - get involved with my former wife's best friend. You're right. Not everyone is going to understand; not everyone is going to accept us as a couple; some are going to think it's too awkward but I don't care.'

'Remus,' she said, touching his shoulder. 'Please don't do this.'

'Maddy,' he retorted, stealing her words. 'Please don't do this.'

Her face showed signs of strain and she bit her lip. 'The job's too good to turn down,' she said softly. 'And…you're getting on with your life. You don't need me anymore.'

'I've never needed anyone more than I need you,' he said desperately. 'Not to help me get over Tonks or to make me feel something again… I need you. I laugh with you. I can talk about anything with you. I adore you, Maddy. My son adores you. I want you in my life. I need you in my life. Please, sweetheart. I'll beg. I will get down on my knees and beg you to stay if that's what it takes.'

Maddy was shaking now with the effort of holding back her tears. He was breaking her down again and she just couldn't think while he was pleading with her, naked in her bed. 'Remus,' she whispered, her voice breaking. 'Please.'

His lip shook as he realised he wasn't budging her, he was just hurting her all the more. 'If I hadn't started seeing Joy,' he asked, his voice trembling. 'Would you be going?'

'I don't know,' she said softly and he swallowed hard.

'Maddy, I don't want to lose you,' he said, taking her face in his hands. 'I don't want to lose you, baby.'

He kissed her - desperately, needily and she responded hot and hungry. They fell back onto the bed and Remus entered her straight away, needing to be inside her; to be part of her. They moved fast and hard, their despair morphing into passion.

As they raced towards release, Remus whispered to her, 'Don't leave me, Maddy. I love you. I love you.'

Her eyes were filled with tears and, as she came, she was unable to hold them back, allowing them to stream down her cheeks as she whispered his name shakily, biting her lip so she couldn't tell him she loved him too. She heard him moan her name then felt warmth spreading inside her as he climaxed, feeling him shaking as hard as she was.

He buried his face in her neck, trying to hide his own tears. 'I love you, Maddy,' he said softly, kissing her skin and tasting their mingled tears there.

He felt her silent sob and clenched his eyes shut to halt his own unhappiness. 'I should go,' he said and she nodded.

Lifting his head, he saw the misery on her face and his heart hurt. 'Are you sure?' he asked, wiping away her tears.

Her lip wobbled and she shook her head. 'No,' she admitted. 'I'm not sure about anything.'

Remus face screwed up then he nodded, resting his forehead on hers for a moment. 'You'll be back for a visit soon?' he asked and she let out a shaky breath.

'Not for a while. Maybe six months or so,' she told him, running her hands up his arms, trying to memorise the feel of his skin. 'I think that's best.'

He swallowed and closed his eyes.

_Six months without her._

'Teddy will miss you,' he whispered, threading his hands through her hair, breathing in her scent. 'He won't understand.'

'Remus,' she said softly, feeling her heart breaking. 'Please don't.'

He realised he was using his son to try and make her feel guilty, he sighed. 'Sorry,' he muttered, lifting his head a little. 'I'll miss you, sweetheart. So much.'

'I'll miss you too,' she said softly then winced when she saw a tear streak down his cheek. 'I'm so sorry, honey.'

He shook his head and tried to smile. 'You have to do what's best for you, Maddy. I just wish that I was what was best for you.'

Her lip shook again and he leaned down and kissed her. 'Stay there, ok?' he said softly. 'I love how you look lying in bed.'

He sat up and slid out of bed, gathering his clothes. He both didn't want to leave and wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible - before he made a fool of himself and completely broke down in front of the woman he loved.

Fully dressed, he came back to the bed and saw Maddy looking away, wiping her face. 'Will you owl me?' he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. 'Tell me how you're going?'

She nodded. 'And you'll tell Teddy good bye for me?' she asked, voice shaking at the thought of not seeing the little boy she adored for so long. 'I'll send him postcards and photos and, if you wouldn't mind…'

'I'll send some photo's of him,' he agreed. 'He's growing up fast.'

'Yes, he is,' she sighed then looked at him. 'Remus, I'm sorry. I don't want to cause you any more pain. You wanted to move on, and the reminders will always be there if you're with me. You'll see me and you'll automatically think of Tonks. Everyone will always think of her and Marc when they see us together - some will wonder if we were unfaithful. That's no life for either of us...'

'I've never thought of Tonks when I'm with you, Maddy,' he said quietly. ''It's not what everyone else thinks that is the problem. It's what _you_ think. You can't stop thinking that I'm replacing Tonks with the next best thing? Is that what you did with me? Were you thinking of Marc every time we were together? Were you thinking of him just now?'

'No! It's different,' she cried, shaking her head. 'She was my _best friend_…' She stifled a sob and suddenly Remus realised what this was really about; what it was that was really keeping them apart.

'That is complete rubbish…,' he said abruptly, standing up. 'This is about _your_ guilt, Maddy. Not because you're worried about me seeing Tonks when I look at you or what everyone else is going to say. This is about the way you believe you're betraying her. And I…I can't help you with that.'

Maddy frowned at him. He was wrong. She was over that guilt. Wasn't she?

He leaned over and took her face in his hands, kissing her softly, tenderly, letting it grow a little before he pulled away.

'If you change your mind, you know where to find me,' he whispered, opening his eyes slowly to look at her. 'Goodbye, Maddy.'

'Goodbye, Remus,' she said softly, biting her lip as she watched him turn and walk out of the room, not looking back.

She waited until she heard the front door close before she fell back onto the bed and sobbed her heart out.

Remus, too, went home and grabbed a bottle of Firewhiskey, retreating to his bedroom and drinking half of it before he broke down.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. Thanks to all who've read but who've been so astonished by the wonderfulness of this fic that they couldn't find the strength to recover and leave a review :-) **

**(Is wonderfulness a word? Copyright. Copyright.)**

**Cheers, duckies! Enjoy the last chapter.**

* * *

Chapter Ten

Remus woke late, groaning from the pain of his hangover. He blearily searched through his bathroom and eventually found a potion to relieve the throbbing in his head and swallowed it down in one gulp, making a coffee while he waited for it to kick in. An owl arrived, Remus took off the rolled up note then shooed it away with an angry swoop of his arm when it screeched loudly.

'Stupid owls,' he muttered, throwing down the note and gulping his hot coffee to try and make him feel more alert, cursing again when he burnt his tongue.

He sighed then unrolled the note from Andromeda. She wanted to take Teddy to visit some relatives for a day or two. Remus frowned then thought, 'Why not?'

The longer Teddy was away, the more time he had to wallow in self pity and the later it was he had to try and explain to his son why his favourite person in the world wasn't visiting him anymore.

He sighed. 'What am I supposed to tell him when he asks for her?' he thought, laying his head down on the cool wood of the table. '"Sorry, Ted, but the woman we both love can't get past her own guilt and allow herself to be with us - despite the fact she loves us madly?" Yeah, that'll work. I'm sure Teddy will understand complex female emotions, even though his father can't.'

Lifting his head, he found a quill and parchment and scrawled a quick note back to tell Andromeda that arrangement was fine and that he'd see them in a few days then sent it back with the owl that was still hanging around outside. He then collapsed onto his sofa, swearing at his sore head and tongue and wanting nothing more than to hear Maddys' voice.

* * *

Maddy used a potion to get rid of the pounding in her head caused by tension and crying all night, then began to pack her few belongings. It didn't take long and, when she was done, she sat on the couch looking at the packed boxes.

'It's a _really_ good job,' she kept telling herself.

'Better than a life with the man you love?' her heart argued and she grimaced.

'I shouldn't want him,' she said to herself. 'He belongs to Tonks. I shouldn't love him.'

She lay down and curled up on the couch, staring at the boxes her whole life was packed in as she thought.

Why couldn't she see past this? Remus had told her he loved her. He told her he never saw her as a replacement. It had never felt wrong - when she was with him and she wasn't thinking, it always felt so right; like they were meant to be together. It wasn't until her brain kicked in again that the guilt of sleeping with her friend's husband made her withdraw.

'He isn't her husband though. She's dead,' she muttered then frowned as tears stung her eyes. 'She isn't coming back. And, if I knew her at all, I think she'd be thrilled that Remus and I had found happiness together.'

A wave of grief crashed over her and she screwed up her face as she fought back tears.

'What the hell?' she thought, pressing her hands hard to her eyes. 'She's been gone a year. Why is it suddenly…?'

And then it hit her. She'd _never_ grieved for Tonks. She'd been so caught up in the attack, in Marc's death, in Remus' grief, that she had never said goodbye to her friend; never gotten the closure she needed.

'Oh, Tonks. I'm so sorry,' she whispered, as the tears fell.

* * *

Night fell as did the rain, coming down in heavy sheets. 'I wonder if it's raining in France,' Remus thought, looking out the window.

He felt hollow, painfully empty, and wandered back to his kitchen, looking for the bottle of mead he was sure was here somewhere. Even though he'd suffered for most of the day from last night's drinking, that pain was better than feeling like this.

'Shit!' he cursed, slamming the cupboard door shut. 'Where the hell is it?'

There was a knock on his door and he frowned, deciding whether or not to answer it. 'I don't want to see anyone,' he muttered under his breath, opening a low cupboard and finding the mead.

There was another knock and he slammed the bottle down on the table and stalked to the door. He yanked it open roughly and glared at a startled Andromeda.

'Andromeda?' he said, puzzled. 'Where's Teddy? What's wrong?'

'Nothing,' she said, shaking her head. 'Teddy's with his great aunt. I forget he needed that puppy toy he sleeps with. I had trouble settling him last night without it.'

'Oh,' he said, waving her through. 'Sorry. I was just…'

'I can see,' she said, looking at the bottle of mead. She looked at him carefully. 'As much as I'd like to think you were still grieving for my daughter, I doubt this is for her.'

Remus clenched his jaw as the woman looked at him. 'Maddyson?'

Remus ignored her query and walked past her, down the hall to Teddy's room. He returned a few seconds later with the toy that Maddy had given his son.

'Give him a kiss for me,' he said, handing her the puppy.

'Remus,' she began but he interrupted.

'Look, I know your opinion about me and Maddy, alright,' he said angrily. 'In part that opinion is the reason she's not here right now and I'm about to drink myself stupid again.'

'You love her?' Andromeda asked and Remus nodded.

'I do,' he said and was surprised when she smiled.

'I suspected,' she told him. 'For a long time. Before that day I confronted you about it. I think I knew before you did. Remus, I was grieving; I was upset at the thought of you moving on with someone, of forgetting about Nymphadora and…I was worried I'd see less and less of Teddy.'

'Well, she's probably all settled in France right now,' he muttered, leaning against the door jamb. 'And you don't have to worry about me moving on anytime soon. I don't think she's going to be very easy to get over.'

'I _do_ want you to be happy again,' she told him. 'If you're not happy, then Teddy's not happy. And…I like Maddyson. I always have. It was a bit strange, thinking of the two of you becoming involved - she was so close to Dora - but you love her, Teddy loves her and, if she loves you, then I'll support your relationship.'

'It's too late now,' Remus said miserably. 'She's gone.'

'You know where she is,' she said, walking towards the door. 'Find her. Dora never gave up on you. If you really love her, you should find her and make her love you back.'

She opened the front door. 'I'll tell Teddy goodnight for you.'

Closing the door, he heard the pop of her disapparating.

* * *

He sat silently in a kitchen chair for half an hour, staring at the bottle of mead. Startled by a knock on the door, he sighed and stood up, wondering what Andromeda wanted now.

'What did you forget?' he said as he opened the door but was stunned when he saw a wet and obviously distraught Maddy.

'I couldn't do it,' she said tremulously. 'I tried to. I even got to Paris but I couldn't stay.'

She shook her head and he saw tears mingling with the rain drops. 'I'm so sorry that I'm doing this to you. I love you, Remus. I love you and I love Teddy and what's best for me is you. I'll understand if I'm too late; if you've changed your…'

The rest of her words were stolen from her as his mouth came down on hers, his hands gripping her face as if he was afraid she'd disappear again.

'God, you're real,' he whispered, lips brushing over hers. 'I thought I was dreaming. I thought you were a dream.'

'A nightmare maybe, the way I've been acting,' she replied and he smiled.

'Tell me again,' he said and she smiled.

'I love you.'

He grinned then kissed her again, sweeping her off her feet and into his house. 'You're freezing,' he noticed when he felt her violent shaking.

He put her down, finally seeing that she was drenched through. 'Here,' he said, grabbing the mead and a glass, pouring a liberal amount and handing it to her.

Her hand shook as she raised it to her lips and he helped her hold it. 'Come on,' he ordered, seeing her slightly blue lips. 'What did you do, Maddy? Walk back from Paris in the rain?'

She let out a shuddering laugh and followed him to the bathroom. 'I was outside for about twenty minutes,' she admitted, watching him turn on the shower. 'Trying to get up the courage to see you.'

He turned in surprise. 'You had to know how happy I'd be to see you,' he said gently, touching her face lightly before his hands dropped to undo her buttons. 'Unless…' His hands paused. 'Unless you're still not sure.'

'No,' she said, gripping his hands tightly in hers. 'I'm sure. I just…I thought maybe you'd tell me it was too late; that I'd had my chance and blown it.'

'Never,' he said softly, sliding the soaking shirt off her shoulders.

Maddy kicked her shoes off then helped him pull the rest of her clothes off. He got her under the shower, trying not to let his body go crazy at the sight of her naked one.

'Get in with me,' she said and he smiled.

'I'm not sure that's a good idea,' he told her. 'You need to warm up.'

Maddy grinned and grabbed a fistful of his shirt. 'Who warms me up better than you, Lupin?' she asked, pulling him under the water with her.

Their lips met and they kissed for long moments, getting utterly lost in each other until impatience broke through the haze.

'You are wearing far too many clothes,' Maddy complained and together they pulled his now drenched clothes off, tossing them onto the floor.

They wrapped themselves around each other, Remus holding Maddy with strong arms as he lifted her legs around his waist and thrust inside her. It felt primal, sensual, sexy as hell as they moved together and soon, they were crying out as they came together.

* * *

They dried off and Remus made them something to eat before they finished off the bottle of mead lying in bed.

'Should I ask why you changed your mind?' he said softly, stroking her arm. 'Or just be grateful you did?'

'It's…stupid,' she mumbled, shaking her head. 'So simple. You...you were right. I had to do it myself. And now it's over. I'm sorry I put you through that.'

'I don't care,' he said, kissing her shoulder then her neck. 'As long as you're staying here with me, I don't care how it happened.'

His tongue curled around her earlobe for a moment then moved back to her neck, breathing in that scent he loved.

'The other night...when you let me... _kiss_ you,' he whispered, kissing down her neck. 'Was that a goodbye present for me or am I going to be allowed access all the time now?'

She giggled then drew in a sharp breath when he nipped her throat.

'I love you,' she said, then moaned as his lips closed around her nipple. 'My body's yours now. Do what you will.'

She gasped as his smiling mouth slid over her stomach then he nuzzled his face in her sex. 'And you were right,' she panted as he spread her legs further apart. 'You are _damn_ good at it.'

He chuckled then set about showing her just how good he was.

* * *

Several minutes later, Maddy was still trembling from her climax as Remus kissed his way back up her body. 'You know,' she said shakily as she opened her eyes. 'There are things I'm very good at that youv'e yet to _completely_ experience.'

Remus' face appeared in front of hers and he smiled. 'Really?' he queried with a raised eyebrow. 'Care to show me now?'

Maddy chuckled and pushed him onto his back then moved her mouth all over his chest. 'Bear in mind,' she mumbled against the skin of his stomach. 'That I spent five years studying the human body.'

Her mouth moved down his leg, pushing them apart. 'I'm going to do things to you that should be illegal.'

He let out a breath of laughter then gasped as her mouth closed around one of his balls. She sucked gently, her hand moving to stroke his erection slowly, enough to drive him insane. Then her mouth moved to his cock and she was right - it felt so good that it couldn't possibly be allowed and when he came, she drank him like no one else had ever done. Afterwards, he was limp - in every way, unable to move for long minutes. When he finally managed to find the strength to roll over, he saw her watching him.

'You're a very attractive man, you know,' she said with a smile. 'I can see why Joy got frustrated waiting to get into your pants.'

Remus grinned, reaching for her. 'What the hell are you doing with me, Maddyson?' he asked. 'You are…perfection.'

She frowned and shook her head. 'No,' she said softly. 'I'm not. I'm stubborn and bad tempered and I make stupid decisions…'

'Mmm,' he whispered, kissing her gently. 'Perfect for me. I love you, Maddy.'

She smiled and murmured, 'I love you too.'

He stared at her for a moment then said, 'Will you marry me?'

Maddy looked stunned then bit her lip. 'Is that the mead or the incredible blow job talking?' she teased, trying to buy some thinking time.

'My heart,' he said, taking her hand and putting it on his chest. 'I didn't plan on asking you that but…I love you, sweetheart. And I want you to be my wife. Teddy's mum. And maybe…we could have a baby of our own one day soon.'

A strange look crossed her face and he frowned. 'If you don't want to have a baby, it's not a deal breaker…' he began but she shook her head quickly.

'No,' she said hastily. 'No, I want to. I've always wanted to but Marc…he didn't want children and I guess I gave up on ever having them.'

She gave him a tentative smile. 'You want to have a baby with me?'

He smiled broadly and kissed her hard. 'I really want to. I would love to see you with your stomach all swollen with my baby. With Tonks, I was so scared the whole time: of the lycanthropy, the upcoming war, our wobbly marriage, so I didn't enjoy the pregnancy but…'

He ran a hand over her stomach. 'I feel this urge with you. This primitive desire to knock you up.'

Maddy giggled and put her arms around him. 'Well, we've made a good start tonight,' she said softly.

Remus' face lit up and he rolled over on top of her. 'You'll have a baby with me?' he asked and she nodded. 'You'll marry me?'

Maddy looked at him then nodded. 'I will,' she answered then said nothing other than his name for the next twenty minutes.

* * *

**Epilogue**

**Ten months later**

'You know, she won't disappear if you put her down,' Maddy said with a smile, watching her husband cradling their daughter as she slept. 'You're spoiling her.'

She moved over to him and took the two week old infant out of his arms. 'I'll put her in her cot,' she said, ignoring Remus' protests. 'And then I wouldn't mind taking her place in your arms while I've got the chance.'

He grinned and stopped complaining, following Maddy down the hall to watch her settle Mia in the small nursery they'd magically added to the house. She sighed when she walked back to him and turned to stare at their baby.

'She's beautiful,' she said softly and he nodded, putting his arms around her, holding her close.

'She looks like her mum,' he whispered, kissing her neck.

Maddy turned and slid her hands up to his chest. 'It's moments like this that I am so very glad we're not Muggles,' she told him, undoing the buttons on his shirt. 'Do you know they have to wait weeks or months to have sex again after they give birth?'

'God, _how_ do they survive?' he asked, walking backwards to their room.

Maddy giggled and they quickly got rid of their clothes and fell into bed. Despite her assurances that everything was alright, he went slowly, gently as if he was afraid she'd break. They'd only been lying collapsed, exhausted, on each other for a few minutes when they heard Teddy wake up from his nap, calling out to Remus.

'He wants _you_,' Maddy murmured sleepily, prodding at him, and he chuckled, kissing her then getting out of bed.

'And he'll get me,' he said softly. 'You sleep. I'll get Mia when she wakes up and bring her in for a feed.'

She nodded and closed her eyes. Remus pulled on his jeans and got his son some lunch then they both went to get Mia when she woke up with a small cry.

'Mia,' sang Teddy capturing her attention as Remus changed her nappy.

The two year old was overjoyed when Maddy came to live permanently with them after their quiet marriage ceremony, not so happy when Mia first appeared but, now she was home, he was a good big brother (particularly curious about her lack of penis). He helped Remus carry her into his room and woke Maddy, giving her a sloppy kiss.

'Hey, Ted,' she mumbled, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Remus smiled and handed her Mia, who was starting to grizzle.

'Ok, hang on,' she said, pulling the sheet down and helping the baby latch onto her breast.

Teddy complained, 'Yuck!' and left to play in the closet with Maddy's shoes while Remus sat down to watch his wife.

'Is it wrong that this is a massive turn on?' he asked and Maddy chuckled.

'Maybe a little weird,' she teased and he laughed.

Reaching out to stroke Mia's head, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. When Tonks had died, he'd thought he'd lost his only hope for happiness but now….now he had a second chance.

**A/N: Fin.**


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